Margaret Smith - Piercings

  • Season 2, Ep 3
  • 06/04/1999
  • Views: 3,188

Women are piercing everything now. (2:25)

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE THE GYM

TO MAKE YOU FEEL OLDER,YOU KNOW?

I NEEDED TO BENCH.

I ASKED THIS GUYHOW MANY SETS HE HAD LEFT.

HE GOES,"OH, I HAVE THREE MORE, MA'AM."

HEY, I'M AT THE "MA'AM"STAGE OF MY LIFE.

SHOULDN'T BE CALLED "MA'AM"

TILL YOU'VE HADTHAT FIRST MAMMOGRAM.

OOH, YOU EVER GETONE OF THOSE THINGS?

YOU'RE IN ONE ROOM,YOUR BREAST IS IN THE OTHER.

THEY PUT IT IN A VISEAND TAKE IT HOSTAGE.

START CRANKING IT SHUT

LIKE YOU HAVETHE SECRET ROCKET FORMULA.

YOU DON'T THINKIT'S EVER GOING TO GET BACK

INTO ITS NATURAL SHAPE AGAIN.

YOU'LL BE ROLLING IT UPTO GET IT BACK IN THE BRA.

PUT A LITTLE HAM KEYON THE END OF IT.

THEN THEY'RE NOT DONE.

THEN THEY SMASH THEM THIS WAY.

OH, GOOD, DORSAL FINS.

MAYBE I'LL GO KAYAKINGDOWN THE EAST RIVER.

YEAH, GRAB AN OAR. JUMP ON.

AND YOU KNOW, AS IF THERE'SNOT ENOUGH PAIN IN LIFE

OUR YOUNGER WOMENARE SIGNING UP FOR IT

WITH THE PIERCING AND ALL THAT.

BOY, I JUST DON'T GET THAT.

I'LL TELL YOU, FIRST TIME I SAWONE OF THOSE TONGUE PIERCINGS

I'M LIKE "JEEZ,YOUR FILLING CAME OUT.

SPIT IT IN THIS CUP."

THEN SHE TOLD MEHER TONGUE WAS PIERCED.

I'M LIKE, DID IT HURT?

( slurring ):"NO, I FEEL TOTALLY FINE."

JEEZ, WHY'D YOU DO IT?

( slurring ):"WELL, I HAD TO IMPROVETHE QUALITY OF MY SEX LIFE."

SHOOT, I GUESS YOU WON'T BEDOING ALL THAT TALKING.

I MEAN

THEY'RE PIERCING EVERYTHING...

TONGUES, LIPS,NIPPLES, NAVELS...

PIERCING THEIR LABIA NOW--THESE WOMEN.

YEAH, PIERCE THEIR LITTLEGEORGIA O'KEEFES.

I MEAN, WHAT DO YOUGET UP ONE DAY

YOU GO, "YOU KNOW,THE KIDS ARE AT SCHOOL...

THINK I'LL GO GETMY LEFT LABIA PIERCED."

I MEAN, JEEZ,HOW DO THEY GET THROUGH

THE METAL DETECTORSAT THE AIRPORT?

I'M IRRITATEDWHEN I HAVE TO TAKE MY BELT OFF

LET ALONE MY LABIA EARRING.

THAT'S WHY, WHEN I FLY,I WEAR THE CLIP-ONS.

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