Baron Vaughn - Modern Black Man

The One with OCD. The One with OCD. The One with OCD. Season 3, Ep 6 11/02/2016 Views: 990

Baron Vaughn talks about how he's dealing with the recent epidemic of police brutality against black men in America. (2:16)

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- Eating and breathinghave become

unexpectedly dangerousin my life.

I'm actually gonnastop calling my allergies that.

That's a wimpy namefor something

that might kill youout of nowhere.

So I'm not gonnacall my allergies my...

police.Exactly.

Because they mighterase my existence,

and people will reactthe same way.

"Why'd you go outside that day?"

You guys know what I mean?

Exact same disregardfor human life.

Okay, some of you with me.

Some of you feel weirdabout race,

and that's fine'cause that's how I woke up...

this morning

and every single morningI've woken up.

Just, "What, black again?Hope I make it."

The police are outand it's already skin-thirty.

[laughter]

I'm a conteston "Will This Get Me Killed?"

Anyway, guys, um...

[cheers and applause]

Come with me or not.

- Hi, do you guys knoweach other?

- Yes, we did.- We just--we met backstage.

I mean we metin the other green room.

- It did not go well.- It didn't go well?

- Wanna take it again?- It was--it was very upsetting.

- Was he aggressive?- He was really aggressive.

- She was aggressive.- Oh, yeah, mm-hmm.

- I get it.- Yeah, we were both--

I think we were happyto meet each other.

- I need to assertmy dominance over people.

That's what comedy's for.- I get it, yeah.

- I'm doing all the stuff

they told black peoplein middle school I could not do.

I'm going to therapy.It's great.

Eating blueberries.They're delicious.

Haven't been skiing.Still think it's dangerous.

And, um...

[laughter]

No, I do like it.I like knowing what I'm about.

You know, I'm tryingto figure out who I am,

and I wanna try to figure thatout before I am inevitably shot

because if the policedon't get me,

the mass shootings will,and you don't wanna be

bleeding in the street going,"I never figured out intimacy."

You guys knowwhat I'm talking about?

Live in the moment

before the moment'staken away from you.

And, um...

that's two shooting jokes.Two shooting jokes.

And I did 'em both.

I don't knowif you guys know this,

there's this unwritten rulein comedy

where you can't hitthe same subject more than once.

So I actually can't doas many shooting jokes

as there are shootings.Isn't that weird?

Imagine if I got up hereand tried to do hundreds

and hundreds of shooting jokes.

Wouldn't you try to stop it?

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

Wouldn't you go, "Shooting jokeafter shooting joke.

"When is this gonna end?

"I'm mad as hell,

and I'm not gonnatake it anymore!"

[cheers and applause]