Dave Nystrom - Drunk in the Middle of the Day

Season 1, Ep 0102 07/27/2006 Views: 5,114

A brewery tour will get you hammered by 11 a.m. (1:35)

which was really fun?

I ended up going on...

Has anybody here ever gone ona brewery tour before?

( cheering )It's...

It's free beer; it's the bestday of your life, isn't it?

The reason I went...

I met the brew masterafter a show

and he invited meand some buddies down,

so I brought them with me;we went down.

But he had us come downat 9:00 in the morning

before they openedto the public.

And I work at night; I usuallysleep till noon, right?

We get in the brewery andthe brew master's all excited.

He's like, "Hey, hey,what are you drinking?"

He starts opening the taps.

I'm like, "Oh, my God,I just got up... ah..."

"I don't know, wheat beer.

That's close to pancakes.Give me that."

( laughter )

So we're walking around drinkingand he's showing us everything.

I can't even gethalfway through my beer

and he's grabbing it from me,topping it off.

I finish the tour two hourslater and I'm hammered.

Which was... have you ever beendrunk in the middle of the day?

( cheering and applause )

And I don't mean a couplecocktails with lunch.

I mean like severely messed up.

It's weirdbecause you can't even

properly relate to peopleanymore; I was like...

( slurring ):"What do you meanI can't get an Egg McMuffin?"

( laughter )

"What, 'cause it's after 11:00?That's ridiculous!"

( laughter )

( applause )She's like, "Uh...

No, sir, becausethis is a bank."

( laughter )

( applause )

( slurring ):"Well, I got to go."

( laughter )

"And somebody took a dumpon your bathroom floor."

( laughter )

"That's the ATM booth, sir."

( laughter )

( slurring ):"I got to go."

( laughter )