Ty Barnett - Superman Dating

  • Season 10 , Ep 2
  • 02/16/2006
  • Views: 5,713

No one will want to date Lois Lane after she breaks up with Superman. (2:32)

YOU GET TO WATCH CARTOONS A LOT. THAT'S A NICE TIME.

I WAS WATCHINGCARTOONS THE OTHER DAY--LIKE THE OLDER ONES.

AND I WAS SITTING THEREAND I REMEMBER WHEN THEY DID NOT

SHOW CARTOONS PAST FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON.

I KNOW YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT.

IT'S LIKE A WHILE AGOUNLESS IT WAS A HOLIDAY.

IT'S LIKE IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN.

NOW, CARTOON NETWORK, ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT

AND I'M SITTING THERE THINKING, "WHO ARE YOU BROADCASTING TO?

"IS THERE SOME LITTLE BOY THAT'S PACING HIS ROOM

"AT TWO OR THREEIN THE MORNING

WITH CANDY CIGARETTES AND HOT CHOCOLATE?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"I CAN'T [BLEEP] GET TO SLEEP. THIS IS BULL-[BLEEP].

I'VE GOT A TEST ON SHAPES TOMORROW."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

ONE OF MY FAVORITE CARTOONS WHEN I WAS KID WAS SUPERMAN.

'CAUSE HE HAD A CAPE, THE SUPERPOWERS.

HIM AND LOIS LANE WERE HOOKED UP, YOU KNOW.

NOW THAT I'M GROWN, I'M SCARED.

'CAUSE I'M THINKING LOIS IS GOING TO GET HALF OF THOSE POWERS

- WHEN THEY GET DIVORCED. - [LAUGHTER]

AND YOU CAN'T BE SUPERMAN THEN, YOU KNOW.

IT'S LIKE "ABLE TO LEAP TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND"...

- EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. - [LAUGHTER]

THEY ARGUING ALL THE TIME. SHE COMPLAINING THAT

HE'S FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SEE THAT TIME ALL THE LADIES ARE LIKE, "YAY." ALL THE GUYS ARE LIKE--

- [LAUGHTER] - THAT ALL I'M SAYING.

THEN I'M THINKING WHAT GUY WOULD ACTUALLY DATE LOIS AFTER SUPERMAN?

[LAUGHTER]

NOBODY.

WHAT IF YOU'RE OVER AT LOIS' HOUSE, 3:00 IN THE MORNING,

- SUPERMAN COME OVER DRUNK. - [LAUGHTER]

LIKE, [SLURRING] "LOIS-- LOIS, I KNOW YOU IN THERE.

BITCH, I CAN SEE YOU."

THANKS A LOT YOU GUYS, I AM DONE.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

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