Kevin Hart - The Gym

Kevin Hart: I'm a Grown Little Man Season 1, Ep 1 02/03/2009 Views: 143,333

If a guy who is already buff is working out at the gym, Kevin Hart expects him to have a really good reason for being there. (1:42)

I WAS WORKING OUTAND EVERYTHING.

I WAS SERIOUSABOUT MY SINGING CAREER.

HAD TO STOP WORKING OUT'CAUSE SOME NAKED GUY TRIED

TO TALK TO ME IN THE GYM.

I AIN'T LIKE THAT.

HE WAS ASS NAKED, TRYING TO HAVEA CONVERSATION WITH ME

WHILE I WAS AT MY LOCKER.

I'M GETTING MY STUFF OUT OFMY LOCKER, AND HE CAME UP

TO ME.

HE'S LIKE, "HEY, MAN.

SO HOW LONG YOU BEEN A MEMBER?"AND I WAS LIKE, "WHY IS

YOUR [bleep] HARD?

WHAT KIND OF GYM IS THIS?

WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN, MAN?"I GOT A LITTLE BUTT;

THAT'S THE FIRST THINGI THINK ABOUT.

I DIDN'T HAVE MY WHISTLE.

IF I HAD MY WHISTLE,I WOULD HAVE FELT BETTER.

I DIDN'T WANT TO ASK FOR A HUG,'CAUSE HE WAS HARD.

I DON'T WANT THAT [bleep]POKING ME IN THE BELLY BUTTON.

THAT'S KIND OF LIKE INTERCOURSE,A LITTLE BIT.

I AIN'T WANT TO FEEL THAT.

I REALLY WAS SERIOUSABOUT WORKING OUT.

YOU HONESTLY WANT TO KNOW WHYI STOPPED GOING TO THE GYM,

THOUGH?

I SAW ONE OF THEMREAL STRONG GUYS.

YOU EVER SEE THEM REAL BIGDUDES, REAL HUGE, NO NECK,

JUST BEING IN THE GYM,WORKING OUT?

I SAW HIM ONE DAY,AND I JUST GOT MAD.

I WAS LIKE, "DUDE,WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

THAT'S IT; YOU WON.

YOU GOT 'EM ALL.

LIKE, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?"LIKE, Y'ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND

HOW MAD THAT MAKES MEWHEN YOU'RE THAT BIG

FOR NO REASON.

LIKE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO GETTHAT BIG, THERE'S GOT TO BE

A REASON.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

LIKE, WHEN I ASK YOUWHY YOU'RE WORKING OUT,

YOU SHOULD TELL ME,"I'M TRAINING FOR THE OLYMPICS."

"I'M ABOUT TO ENTERTHE STRONGMAN COMPETITION."

SOMETHING.

THERE'S GOT TO BEA [bleep] REASON.

BUT WHEN YOU THAT BIGAND YOU WORK FOR T-MOBILE

AND YOU ANSWER THE PHONES--YOU TOO STRONG, [bleep].

YOU CAN'T EVEN HANDLETHE HEADSET--

"HELLO?

HELLO?"[grunting]

"HELLO?"[grunting]

YOU START MOVING [bleep]AROUND THE OFFICE, 'CAUSE--

[roars][talking unintelligibly]

SIT YOUR STRONG, UNPRODUCTIVEASS DOWN, MAN.