Zhivago Blea - Not Macho

Zhivago Blea, Cleto Rodriguez & Edwin San Juan Season 1, Ep 5 11/03/2011 Views: 10,723

Zhivago Blea spends $50 on his shampoo because he wants his hair to look pretty. (2:10)

I'm starting to get gray hair.

You can't really tell, though,'cause I shave my balls.

You can't tell, huh?

This question's for the guys.

Any guys here ever take a Viagraand the girl doesn't show up?

It sucks, huh?

You got to go homeand waste it on your wife.


Whew, I'm glad you guys laughed,

'cause I get tangleson that one.

Kind of sucks,you know what I mean?

I'm trying to mad dog fools.

"I swear to God, that vatobetter not come over here, eh.

"Check my car again;I know I got a scrunchie.

Ow, ow, ow."

It sucks.

You can't look tough like this.

I pay 50 bucks for my shampoo,you know what I mean?

'Cause I want to look pretty.

But it sucks,you know what I mean?

It's like, I want to hitmy pipe or something,

I got to...

That's not macho.

I'm on top of my lady, and Iwant to kiss her, I got to...

How sexy is that, you know?

"Bitch, you should'vebrought a scrunchie."

The worst one iswhen I'm at the taco truck,

and the paisansare checking me out,

you know, the Mexican brothers,whatever you want to call them.

And I'm sitting there,eating my taco--

I forgot my scrunchie again,you know?

I'm like... (chewing noisily)

"Hey, that one's pretty, holmes.

Está bonita, guey."

(chewing noisily)

"Which one?

The one with the mustache?"

(chewing noisily)

"No, guey, no...

"Yeah, she's pretty.

She looks likeJennifer Aniston."