This seems bad.
It's not amazing.
Why would PETA use this shot?
This wasn't even duringthe photo shoot.
This was taken duringmy peanut butter break.
You're the one who wantedto pose naked
and pretend it wasfor a good cause
so you wouldn't looklike a whore even though
that's secretly whyeverybody does it.
Can you fix it?Of course.
It's my job.
What about doing someappearances
for Operation Smile?
What is that?
The organization that fixescleft palates.
No, I really don't wantto deal with paint.
Ugh.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,whoa, whoa, wait.
What about pity (bleep)a prom loser?
Yes, that's it, right?
All the hot celebritiesare doing that now.
Yeah, I don't thinkany of them are actually
having sex with the teenagers,
but I don't think that goingto prom is a terrible idea.
Did a student ask you?
No.
Not yet.
But I bet if I just Google it,he's out there somewhere.
Yeah.
You just make surethe press is there.
Oh, I will.Okay.
Will you bring this with you?
Sure.
Unless you think it's okay.
I--I don't.
Okay.
Prom.
God.
Ugh.
Who do we have here?
That's why if you're watching this,
I really hope you agree to come to prom with me.
I promise we'll have a really great time.
Please say yes.
Love, Lucas.
You just got yourselfa prom date, buddy.
♪
Wait, he's still inhigh school.
Well, I hope this kid's readyto eat (bleep) a ton of (bleep).
Wait here untilafter the dance, Montgomery.
Yes, ma'am!
♪
♪ My milkshake bringsall the boys to the yard ♪
♪ And they're likeit's better than yours ♪
♪ Damn right,it's better than yours ♪
♪ I can teach you,but I have to charge ♪
♪ My milkshake bringsall the boys to the yard ♪
♪ And they're likeit's better than yours ♪
♪ Damn right,it's better than yours ♪
♪ I can teach you ♪
♪
Excuse me, ma'am, the Al-Anonmeeting is on Sunday.
No, you silly hooker,I'm here for the prom!
L-L-L-L-Lucas!
Hi.
Hi, do I know you?
I'm your celebrity prom date.
I'm Amy Schumer.
Surprised?
Uh, I've never heard of you.
You know, "When's lunch?"
Uh, this is my girlfriendMadison.
Girlfriend?
What about your YouTube video?
Oh, you mean the one whereI asked Madison to prom?
Did you even watchthe whole thing?
Is anybody (bleep)talking to you, Madison?
This is none of your business.
You seriously needto back off right now.
Excuse me,this is my business.
Oh, really?You know what?
You're ruining the best nightof Lucas' short life, okay?
Whatever, Joy Behar.
What?
Get off of--
You get off!
This is-- Ow!
Oh, my God,you killed him!
Let go!
My God!
I'm a cripple!
You give it back,I brought that!
Out of my way!
These are the best yearsof your lives
because you're (bleep) losers!
You think you couldfollow Tosh?
You can't, I was Variety'stop ten comics to watch 2009!
Montgomery,I'm riding up front!
Whatever you say,Mrs. S!
Oh, my God.
My arms look so skinny.
They do.
They really do.