Carlos Mencia - Ethnic Sensitivity

  • Season 6 , Ep 10
  • 06/23/2002
  • Views: 14,156

You can't have feelings in America anymore. (3:11)

I MIGHT SUCK AND THEN YOU'RE

GOING TO BE LIKE, "I CAN'T

BELIEVE WE CHEERED FOR THIS

(BLEEP)."

(LAUGHTER)

HAVE A GOOD TIME ENJOY

YOURSELVES.

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE RIGHT

UP FRONT BY THE WAY.

I NORMALLY DON'T DO THIS

BUT I HAVE TO...

TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT I AM

THOROUGHLY ABOUT TO OFFEND.

(LAUGHTER)

AND SOME OF YOU DON'T GET IT

RIGHT NOW.

AND YOU'LL GET IT IN ABOUT

TEN MINUTES WHEN ALL YOUR

FRIENDS ARE LAUGHING THEIR

ASSES OFF AND YOU'RE THERE

GOING, "HE SUCKS!"

(LAUGHTER)

TIMES ARE SENSITIVE MAN,

I'M NOT.

I BELIEVE IN FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

I BELIEVE WE'RE SUPPOSE TO HAVE

FUN.

YOU KNOW, DON'T HURT ANYBODY'S

FEELINGS THAT BUT IF THEIR

FEELINGS GET HURT,

ENJOY YOURSELF, MAN.

IT SUCKS!

(APPLAUSE)

YOU CAN'T HURT FEELINGS

IN AMERICA ANYMORE.

YOU NOTICE THAT?

NO, MAN, IF SEPTEMBER 11th

TAUGHT ME ANYTHING,

IT'S ENJOY YOUR LIFE.

IT'S SHORT AND IT COULD END

AT ANY MOMENT.

LIKE FOR HALLOWEEN, I HAD FUN.

I GAVE THE LITTLE KIDS POWDERED

DOUGHNUTS.

(SCATTERED LAUGHTER)

SEE, SOME OF YOU GET THOSE

JOKES.

SOME OF YOU WERE RIGHT THERE.

HIP-HAR.

SOME OF YOU, "WHAT IS

HE SPEAKING SPANISH?"

COME ON, PEOPLE!

I NEED YOU TO BE HERE FOR ME.

LISTEN.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M JUST SAYING, BE HUMAN, MAN.

YOU KNOW LIKE, THERE'S AN ASIAN

LADY RIGHT THERE.

I KNOW SHE'S ASIAN 'CAUSE

THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE TO CALL HER.

EVEN THOUGH, SHE COMES FROM

THE ORIENT.

DID I NAME IT THE ORIENT?

NO.

DID YOU NAME IT THE ORIENT?

NO.

THEY'RE THE ONES THAT COME OUT

ON COMMERCIALS AND SAY,

"COME, FLY TO THE ORIENT."

THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY.

BUT WHEN WE CALL THEM ORIENTAL,

"I AM NOT ORIENTAL!"

WELL, JESUS, SETTLE DOWN.

"ORIENTAL IS FOOD.

ORIENTAL IS RUG."

JESUS, I WAS CLOSE, MAN.

I GET PARTIAL CREDIT.

IT'S NOT LIKE I CALLED YOU

A BLACK MIDGET I WAS CLOSE.

(LAUGHTER)

ALL RIGHT.

HERE'S THE PART OF THE SHOW

WHERE PEOPLE GO WHY DO YOU GET

ANGRY?

I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

'CAUSE ALL YOU PEOPLE THAT

DIDN'T LAUGH YOU'RE HYPOCRITES,

THAT'S WHY.

YOU'RE SAYING THAT PEOPLE

OF THE SAME GENETIC POOL

DON'T LOOK ALIKE.

IF THAT'S THE CASE, BEING THAT

THERE'S NEGROID, MONGOLOID,

AND CAUCASOID, YOU WOULD SAY

THAT IF I BROUGHT TWO BLACK

PEOPLE UP HERE, YOU WOULD

BE ABLE TO DIFFERENTIATE WHICH

REGION OF AFRICA EACH OF THEM

HAILED FROM.

BASED ON THEIR MELANIN CONTENT

SKIN PIGMENTATION, CRANIAL

STRUCTURE, AND NASAL OPENING.

WOULD YOU?

OR WOULD YOU LOOK AT THEM

AND GO, "COME ON, THEY'RE FROM

BROOKLYN."

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

SO, SHUT UP!

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

AND TRUST ME, IF ANYBODY KNOWS,

CARLOS KNOWS, 'CAUSE I WAS BORN

IN HONDURAS.

THAT'S WHERE I WAS BORN

BUT I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA.

WHERE NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY,

YOU'RE MEXICAN.

YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

SEE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT

WHITE PEOPLE 'CAUSE WHEREVER

YOU GO, YOU'RE WHITE.

IF YOU'RE HERE YOU'RE WHITE.

IF YOU GO TO L.A. YOU'RE WHITE.

IF YOU GO TO DENVER YOU'RE

WHITE.

IF YOU GO TO MIAMI, YOU'RE STILL

WHITE.

I'M MEXICAN IN THE SOUTHWEST BUT

WHEN I GO TO MIAMI, I'M CUBAN.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

WHAT HAPPENED?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

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