IT WAS COOL, MAN.
BUT, YEAH, LIKE I SAW HIM
WALKING AROUND EARLY.
AND YOU WOULD THINK IT WOULDN'T
BOTHER ME AS MUCH, 'CAUSE I'M
FLUFFY, YOU KNOW, AND I GOT
INSULATION.
(LAUGHTER)
THAT'S RIGHT.
FLUFFY, I SAID IT.
IT'S THE POLITICALLY CORRECT
TERM.
BECAUSE ONE TIME, I MESSED UP
AND I CALLED MYSELF FAT AROUND
MY MOM AND MY MOM WAS LIKE,
"YOU'RE NOT FAT.
YOU'RE JUST FLUFFY."
(LAUGHTER)
AND SHE BROKE IT DOWN.
SHE TOLD ME THAT THERE WERE FIVE
DIFFERENT LEVELS OF FATNESS.
FOR REAL.
SHE SAYS THERE'S BIG,
THERE'S HEALTHY, THERE'S HUSKY,
THERE'S FLUFFY, AND THERE'S
"DAMN."
(LAUGHTER)
MY EX-GIRLFRIEND, SHE WAS
FLUFFY, TOO.
SHE WAS COOL, MAN, 'CAUSE I USED
TO CALL HER UP IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE NIGHT.
AND ALL MY FRIENDS WOULD ALWAYS
TELL US HOW ROMANTIC WE WERE.
I'D CALL HER UP, NO BIG DEAL,
RIGHT?
(ROTARY PHONE DIALING NOISE)
(LAUGHTER)
OLD SCHOOL, HUH?
(LAUGHTER)
(PHONE RINGING
AND HEAVY BREATHING)
(LAUGHTER)
PICK UP THE PHONE.
(RINGING CONTINUES)
(FEMALE VOICE) "HELLO."
(MALE VOICE) "HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
(FEMALE VOICE) "OH, NOTHING.
I'M JUST HERE."
(MALE VOICE) "OOH, WHERE?"
(FEMALE VOICE) "IN THE KITCHEN."
(MALE VOICE) "OH, REALLY?
(GIGGLING)
OOH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE
KITCHEN?"
(FEMALE VOICE) "OH, NOTHING.
I'M JUST BAKING."
(MALE VOICE) "OH, REALLY?
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
OOH, WHAT ARE YOU BAKING?"
(FEMALE VOICE) "OH, NOTHING,
JUST A CHOCOLATE CAKE."
(MALE VOICE) "OH, REALLY?
(LAUGHTER)
OH, BABY, SAY IT SLOW,
SAY IT SLOW."
(FEMALE VOICE) "CHOC-O-LATE...
CAKE."
(MALE VOICE) "AYE, DIOS MIO."
(LAUGHTER)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)