Uncensored - Steve Rannazzisi - College Guys

Steve Rannazzisi: Manchild Season 1, Ep 101 11/16/2013 Views: 7,838

Against his better judgment, Steve Rannazzisi takes the advice of some college guys. (2:25)

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DOING A LOT OF COLLEGESRECENTLY, TOO.

GOD.

THE 19-YEAR-OLD MALE

IS THE MOST AGGRESSIVE SPECIESON THE PLANET EARTH.

I REALLY --I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I FEEL BAD FOR THE GIRLSTHAT GO TO COLLEGE. I REALLY DO.

THEY'RE ANIMALS.THEY ARE.

I WAS DOING THIS BITAT THIS COLLEGE

ABOUT NOT BEING ABLETO TALK DIRTY WITH MY WIFE.

AND LET ME EXPLAINSOMETHING TO YOU --

IT'S NOT MY THING, OKAY?

IT'S NEVER REALLY BEEN MY THING.I'M NOT INTO IT.

I UNDERSTANDHOW PEOPLE CAN BE INTO IT

IF YOU'RE DOWN WITH THAT.

YOU'RE LIKE, "AH,"YOU KNOW, "HEY, BITCH."

WHATEVER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SAY.

AND BY THE WAY, THAT'S NOTHOW I FUCK, OKAY?

I DON'T FUCK LIKESOME SORT OF BROKEN PINOCCHIO,

JUST SLAMMING MY BODYINTO MY WIFE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NO, I JUST HAVE A PROBLEM WITH,AT NIGHT,

LOOKING AT YOUR WIFE ORYOUR GIRLFRIEND AND BEING LIKE,

"OH, YOU LIKE THAT, BITCH?

WHORE! YOU'RE A SLUT!"

AND IN THE MORNING, BEING LIKE,"YOU WANT TO SPLIT A BAGEL?

YOU WANT A WHEAT BAGEL?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

SO THESE GUYS DIDN'T UNDERSTANDWHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

THEY DIDN'T GRASP IT AT ALL.

THESE 19-YEAR-OLD GUYS ARE LIKE,

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,MAN?

"THAT'S A SIGN OF RESPECT.

"WHEN YOU TELL A WOMANWHAT YOU WANT,

YOU'RE SHOWING HER RESPECT."

I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T UNDERSTANDWHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE."

AND THEN THE COOL GUY --

THE COOL GUY OF THE GROUP'SLIKE,

"IF I'M WITH A CHICK,AND I WANT A BLOWJOB,

I'D BE LIKE, 'HEY,SUCK MY DICK AND LIKE IT!'"

AND I WAS LIKE, "WHOA, MAN!

"WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR --I-HATE-WOMEN STUDIES?

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

"WHAT DID PROFESSOR CHRIS BROWNTEACH YOU AT THIS COLLEGE?

"COME ON.

YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE."

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

AND I GOT HIGH WITH THESE GUYSAFTER THE SHOW.

AND I WENT HOME,

AND I WAS HANGING OUTWITH MY WIFE.

AND WE WERE ON THE COUCHWATCHING

"EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER."

IT WAS VERY SAD.WE WERE EMOTIONAL.

SHE WAS LOOKING AT ME,AND I WAS LOOKING AT HER.

AND MY BRAIN...

[ CHUCKLES ]

MY BRAIN WAS LIKE,"SHOW HER SOME RESPECT."

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND I LOOKED AT MY WIFE,AND I WAS LIKE, "HEY, BABE...

WHY DON'T YOU SUCK MY DICKAND LIKE IT?"

SHE WENT, "WHAT THE FUCKDID YOU JUST SAY?!"

"SUCKING DICKS AND...

DICKS AND..."

SHE'S LIKE, "SAY IT AGAIN!"

I'M LIKE, "I SUCKMY OWN DICK NOW, OKAY?