I TELL THE TRUTH A LOTIN MY ACT.
I PRETTY MUCH DO THINGSTHAT HAPPENED.
WE WERE PULLING UP TO A VALETWITH MY WIFE.
IT'S JUST ME AND THE WIFE --MY WIFE.
AGAIN.
AND WE'RE PULLING UP TO A VALET
OUT IN L.A. TO GOTO A RESTAURANT,
AND YOU HAVE TO VALETFUCKING EVERYWHERE THERE.
AND I'M PULLING UP,
AND JUST AS WE'RE PULLING UPTO THE VALET,
THE GUY'S WALKINGTOWARDS THE CAR.
MY WIFE RIPS ONE.
I SWEAR TO GOD.
AND I KNEW SHE FARTED BECAUSE,LIKE, MY NOSE SMELLED IT,
AND THEN IT TOLD MY BRAIN,"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
AAH!
AND THEN I KNEW IT WASN'T ME
'CAUSE MY BUTT DIDN'T TELLMY BRAIN THAT I FARTED.
THAT'S USUALLY HOWTHE BODY WORKS.
SO I JUST LOOKED AT HERAND I WENT, "DID YOU BEEF?"
AND SHE GOES, "YEAH, BUT HE'SJUST GONNA THINK IT'S YOU."
[ LAUGHTER ]
I SWEAR TO GOD.
AND SHE'S RIGHT.
I MEAN, SHE'S THIS CUTE,ADORABLE LITTLE BLONDE,
AND I LOOK LIKE THIS.
I LOOK LIKE I'M FUCKINGMADE OF FARTS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF FARTSPUT ON A MAN COSTUME
AND DECIDED TO GOTO A RESTAURANT.
"HEY, I'M TIRED OF SITTINGAROUND AND ORDERING IN.
LET'S PUT ON A MAN COSTUME."
"ALL RIGHT."
[ FART NOISES ]
MADE OF FARTS.