Brian Posehn - Ripped One

  • Season 12, Ep 21
  • 01/11/2008
  • Views: 49,504

I knew it wasn't me because my butt didn't tell my brain that I farted. (1:42)

I TELL THE TRUTH A LOTIN MY ACT.

I PRETTY MUCH DO THINGSTHAT HAPPENED.

WE WERE PULLING UP TO A VALETWITH MY WIFE.

IT'S JUST ME AND THE WIFE --MY WIFE.

AGAIN.

AND WE'RE PULLING UP TO A VALET

OUT IN L.A. TO GOTO A RESTAURANT,

AND YOU HAVE TO VALETFUCKING EVERYWHERE THERE.

AND I'M PULLING UP,

AND JUST AS WE'RE PULLING UPTO THE VALET,

THE GUY'S WALKINGTOWARDS THE CAR.

MY WIFE RIPS ONE.

I SWEAR TO GOD.

AND I KNEW SHE FARTED BECAUSE,LIKE, MY NOSE SMELLED IT,

AND THEN IT TOLD MY BRAIN,"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

AAH!

AND THEN I KNEW IT WASN'T ME

'CAUSE MY BUTT DIDN'T TELLMY BRAIN THAT I FARTED.

THAT'S USUALLY HOWTHE BODY WORKS.

SO I JUST LOOKED AT HERAND I WENT, "DID YOU BEEF?"

AND SHE GOES, "YEAH, BUT HE'SJUST GONNA THINK IT'S YOU."

[ LAUGHTER ]

I SWEAR TO GOD.

AND SHE'S RIGHT.

I MEAN, SHE'S THIS CUTE,ADORABLE LITTLE BLONDE,

AND I LOOK LIKE THIS.

I LOOK LIKE I'M FUCKINGMADE OF FARTS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF FARTSPUT ON A MAN COSTUME

AND DECIDED TO GOTO A RESTAURANT.

"HEY, I'M TIRED OF SITTINGAROUND AND ORDERING IN.

LET'S PUT ON A MAN COSTUME."

"ALL RIGHT."

[ FART NOISES ]

MADE OF FARTS.

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