Howard Kremer - Letters to Celebrities

Theobald, Dixon, Koenig, Kremer Season 7, Ep 711 01/16/2004 Views: 2,494

Howard reads letters he's written to celebrities. (2:07)

THIS GLOVE JUST TOUCHED

D.L. HUGHLEY, GIVE IT UP FOR

THIS GLOVE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHO'S GONNA GET IT?

GIVE HER A BIG ROUND OF

APPLAUSE.

D.L. HUGHLEY'S GLOVE.

OH, MY GOD!

OH, MY GOD.

ALRIGHT.

WELL, I LIVE OUT IN LOS ANGELES

AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO NETWORK

WITH SOME OF THE CELEBRITIES

OUT THERE BUT MOST OF THEM DON'T

RETURN MY CALLS.

SO I'VE BEEN WRITING THEM SOME

LETTERS.

YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME OF THE

LETTERS?

[CHEERING]

AH-HA.

"DEAR PAMELA ANDERSON...

[LAUGHTER]

GUESS WHAT TWO THINGS ARE NEVER

ON WHEN I WATCH YOU ON

TELEVISION?

THE VOLUME TO THE TV

AND MY PANTS."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

"PLEASE SEND ME $5,000.

YOUR FAN, HOWIE KREMER."

[LAUGHTER]

HERE'S A GOOD ONE.

"DEAR BEN AFFLECK.

HOW COULD SOMEONE SO BORING

AND BLAND BE SO FAMOUS?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I'VE HAD PARAPLEGIC WAITERS

THAT BROUGHT MORE TO THE TABLE."

[CHEERS AND LAUGHTER]

I WROTE J-LO A TELEGRAM.

YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT?

Audience: YES.

Howard Kremer: ALRIGHT.

"DEAR JAY-LO, STOP."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

ALRIGHT, THAT'S ALL FOR THE

LETTERS, THANK YOU.

[APPLAUSE]