Bobby Collins - Cruise Ship

  • Season 1, Ep 13
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 13,153

People on cruise ships are so fat they've given up walking. (2:15)

(Bobby Collins)HEY, I WAS JUST ON A CRUISESHIP WITH ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS.

Y'KNOW HOW YOU READ ABOUTOBESITY IN OUR COUNTRY?

THREE OUT OF FOUR PEOPLE,AND YOU'RE GOIN',

"LOOK AROUND, NO WAY!"

ON THE CRUISESHIP--MOOOOOOO...

MOOOOOOO...

THEY WERE GRAZING.

AND THEN THEY GIVE 'EMA MIDNIGHT BUFFET.

I ALMOST DIED.

THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.

25,000 CALORIES JUST BEFORE

YOU LAY YOUR HEADDOWN ON THAT PILLOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

TO HELL WITH THE FOOD.

WHY DON'T YOU JUSTTAKE A POUND OF BUTTER

AND JUST SHOVE IT UP MY...

AND SOME OF THEMDON'T WALK ANYMORE.

THEY GOT THESE CARTS.

DID THEY JUST GIVE UP?

THEY'RE HAVIN',LIKE, A DONUT.

FRED, I'LL NEVERWALK AGAIN.

OH, MY GOD.

A FRIEND OF MINE SAYS,

BOB, YOU WANNA GOSEE THE WHALES?

I GO, WHAT CABIN?

EVER FLUSH A TOILETON A CRUISE SHIP?

NOW I'M IN THE ENGINE ROOM.

CHINESE GUY,SHOVELING COAL...

HE LOOKED AT ME,GOES, "WHO YOU?"

I WAS JUST TAKING A DUMP.

YOU'RE NOTALLOWED IN HERE.

CREW MEMBER ONLY!

YA GOT ANY PAPER?

AND WE WENT TOPUERTO RICO.

I'M FROM NEW YORK!

FRIENDS OF MINE...BOB, COME ON,

WE'RE GONNA GET OFF ANDWALK AROUND PUERTO RICO.

I GO, WHADDYA, NUTS?

I'LL STAY BY THE SHIP.

LIABLE TO COME BACK ANDFIND IT ON MILK CRATES.

DOES THIS SHIPHAVE HUB CAPS?

YOU KNOW, I DON'T SEETHE BIG DEAL ABOUT ACRUISE SHIP ANYWAY.

LOOK, THERE'S AN OCEAN.

AND OVER THERE, YOUCAN SEE MORE OCEAN.

WHOO... OCEAN!

WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

IT'S A NON-STOPPARTY, MAN.

WE'D SPEND THE DAYSHANGING OUT BY THE POOL...

PLAYING VOLLEYBALLWITH THE GUYS.

MAYBE GET A MASSAGEAFTERWARDS.

(Patrice)HMMM...

THERE SURE ARE A LOTOF DUDES ON THIS SHIP.

A LOT OF DUDES...

HMMM...

AW, MAN!

YOU BOOKED USON A GAY CRUISE!

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