The Dating Game

  • Season 2 , Ep 217
  • 04/25/2012
  • Views: 22,467

Barney's love for Callie has reached new bounds when he takes hostage of Frank, Mark and others to win her back. (2:28)

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

-OH GETTING YOU CAMERA READY.

INSTEAD OF KILLING YOU,

I'VE DECIDED TO GIVE YOUA CHANCE

TO VIE FOR CALLIE'S LOVE.

AND WHAT BETTER WAY THANTHROUGH A CLASSIC GAME SHOW?

HIT IT.

[upbeat music]

- IT'S TIME TO MEETOUR ELIGIBLE BACHELORS.

- GRIMES?

- I'VE GOT A BOMBSTRAPPED TO MY CHEST, LILLY.

PLAY ALONG.

- WHERE IS CALLIE?CALLIE!

- BACHELOR NUMBER ONEENJOYS MANIACAL LAUGHTER

AND HOSTAGE SITUATIONS.

PLEASE WELCOME BARNEY SNODGRASS.

[recorded applause]

- BACHELOR NUMBER TWO IS ALOW-LEVEL GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE

WHO'LL BE DEAD WITHIN THE HOUR.

WELCOME MARK LILLY.

[clapping]

AND HERE'S OUR ELIGIBLEBACHELORETTE, CALLIE MAGGOTBONE.

[clapping]

BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,SAY HELLO TO CALLIE.

- HELLO, THERE, SWEET MAMA.

- BARNEY, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

LET MARK AND GRIMES GO.

- IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.

- BACHELOR NUMBER DEUCE.

- CALLIE, IT'S MARK.

ARE YOU HURT?

- NO NAMES, BACHELOR NUMBER TWO.

BACHELORETTE, YOUR QUESTION,PLEASE.

- OH, COME ON.I'M NOT READING THIS.

- I COULD BLOW ALL OF US UPRIGHT NOW, IF YOU'D PREFER.

- BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,WHAT'S THE WILDEST PLACE

YOU CAN IMAGINE USMAKING WHOOPEE?

MAKING WHOOPEE? SERIOUSLY?

- CALLIE, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENSTO US, I WANT YOU TO KNOW--

[buzzer sounds]- I'M WEARING A BOMB, LILLY.

ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTION!

- ON TOP OF THE COVERS.

- NEXT QUESTION, PLEASE.

- BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,

WHY ARE WE A BETTER MATCHTHAN NUMBER TWO?

- I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED THAT,CALLIE.

BECAUSE I'M PURE EVIL,

A REAL GRADE "A" BASTARD.

AND DEEP DOWN, YOU KNOWTHAT'S WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

CALLIE,I KNOW WE'VE DRIFTED APART

EVER SINCE I GOT LOCKED UPFOR MURDER,

BUT YOU'RE MY SOUL MATE.

I SHIVVED SIX GUARDSJUST SO I COULD SEE YOU AGAIN.

- THAT MAY BE THE SWEETEST THINGTHAT ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME.

- WHAT?

- BABY, YOU KNOW TINY, BLACK,BILE-PUMPING HEART

THAT WE WERE MEANT TO BE.

CALLIE MAGGOTBONE,WILL YOU BE MINE FOREVER?

- [gasps]OH, BARNEY.

- SHE'S HIS, LILLY.AND NOW HE'S GONNA MURDER US.

WORK SOME OF YOUR COUNSELING BULL[bleep].

- THE TIME FOR COUNSELINGIS OVER.

I'M GONNA KILLTHIS SON OF A BITCH.

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