Kellyanne Conway's Artful Deceptions

February 7, 2017 - Marty Walsh 02/07/2017 Views: 194,931

Michelle Wolf breaks down Kellyanne Conway's skillful ability to spin the Trump administration's missteps, from shifting blame onto other people to blatantly lying. (5:36)

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As the media continuesto battle Donald Trump,

-Steve Bannon and Sean Spicer...-(laughter)

...there's one dragonthat they cannot slay--

Kellyanne Conway,the counselor to the president

and the womanwho brought us this.

Sean Spicer,our press secretary, gave...

alternative facts.

(laughter)

-I'll never forgetwhere I was... -(laughter)

...when I heard that statement.

-I was on the moon.-(laughter)

-You can't prove that I wasn't.-(laughter)

For more analysisof Kellyanne Conway,

we turn now to The Daily Show's resident liar,

-Michelle Wolf, everybody!-(cheers and applause)

Thank you, Trevor.

It's great to be here.

-Was-was that a lie?-No.

-Was that a lie?-Yes.

I don't know even knowhow this works.

Okay, anyway, Michelle,it feels like

Kellyanne Conway has been pokingaway at the media for months,

culminatingin her latest statement

aboutthe Bowling Green massacre.

Okay, well, first of all, shehasn't been poking at the media.

She's been chewing them up,spitting them out,

(bleep) on them,then lighting them on fire

and leaving themon their own doorstep.

And frankly,I find it damn impressive.

What? No, no.I'm sorry. Impressive?

Oh, she's so good at it.

I wish I had her talent.

When she's done talking,

I don't know if my mouth ismy ass, or my ass is my mouth.

-(laughter, applause & cheering)-Very confusing.

I mean, she's got a playbook,

and, of course,like a porn star,

she only has, like,four or five moves,

but I still love watching hergive it to people.

(laughter)

One of my favorites isshifting blame.

Will Donald Trumprelease anything from the IRS

-proving that he's under audit?-No, I don't know.

Why? In other words,why are you...?

-Are you calling him a liar?-If we're taking...

Well, we're takinghis word for it.

Are you calling him a liar?

And we're takingHillary Clinton's word for that

she was overheatedand didn't have pneumonia,

or that she's going to beaspirational, uplifting,

or she's going to start talkingto the press again.

I mean,seriously, we're going to...

We're running against a Clinton,

and we're going to challengesomeone's veracity?

Okay, so, we startedat Donald Trump's tax return,

and we ended at Hillary lyingabout pneumonia?

(laughter)

Kellyanne can getout of anything

by shifting blameto someone else.

She should be a lawyer.

-She should be Bill Cosby's lawyer. -(laughter)

The trial will be 15 minutes,and the jury would come out

angryat Mariah Carey's sound guy.

(laughter)

And I know, I know,I know a lot of you are, like,

"I could never do this,"

and you're rightbecause you have a soul.

(laughter)

But Kellyanne-- she doesn't.

-She's my no-soul mate.-(laughter)

So just move all your hateaside, all of it, and...

Because once you stop hating,

you can appreciate the artistry.

Like, here's another oneof her moves,

something I call"Fake Truth, Real Problem."

See, you make up a lie, andbefore anyone can refute it,

cloud the discussionwith real facts

about a devastatingunrelated issue.

And then Peña Nieto,I don't have to tell you,

cancelled his visit this week...

That was mutual.

The president suggested it firston Twitter.

They had a meeting scheduledfor Tuesday?

You think that's a good thing?

It's a great thingthat they spoke for an hour.

I'll tell youwhat's not a great thing.

Here's not a great thing.It's not great

that we have a $60 billiontrade deficit with Mexico.

It's not great that they allow,because there is no border,

there is no...there is no respect

of our sovereigntyin this country, Chris.

You know who I want Fox Newsto go interview?

Go interview all those parentswho have left...

who have lost childrento opioid use.

(laughter)

Come on!

I see your cancelled meeting andI raise you a heroin epidemic?

(laughter)

This is amazing!

I mean, for decades politicianshave blown bull (bleep) on TV,

but Kellyanne Conwayhas changed the game.

She's like when black guysstarted playing basketball.

Or when steroidsstarted playing baseball.

(laughter)

Which brings meto this past weekend.

Because she did somethingthat can only be described

as "The Beautiful Lie."

It was her fib de résistance

I bet there wasvery little coverage.

I bet... I bet it's brand-newinformation to people

that President Obama hada six-month ban

on the Iraqi refugee programafter two Iraqis came here

to this country,were radicalized,

and they were the master...

masterminds behindthe Bowling Green massacre.

I mean,most people don't know that

because it didn't get covered.

That was like a roller coasterof contradiction.

She said-- we didn't inventthe ban, Obama invented the ban.

And the reasonTrump needed a ban

is because Obamadidn't have a ban.

Which is why Obamacouldn't prevent

the very realBowling Green massacre

but Trump will.

Come on!

-(laughter) -It's likeif Inception was a sentence!

Well, Michelle, I mean,I hear you and you're right,

but I don't think we should becelebrating Kellyanne Conway

and a lie about a fake massacre.

Oh. You don't think we should becelebrating Kellyanne Conway,

but you want to celebrate aPatriots' win at the Super Bowl?

A celebration you're havingwhile kids are starving

and dyingon the streets of Chicago?

Who are, of course,being ignored by a media

that is covering them too much?

How dare you, Trevor!

And on the anniversaryof the Louisville Slugging!

-I-I... Wait, I'm...-(laughter)

Whoa. I'm sorry. Wait. What...

(cheering, applause)

Wait. No, wait, what...

what just happened?

-You just got Conway'd!-(laughter)

-Whoo!-Michelle Wolf, everybody.