( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILYSHOW."

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE'VE GOT A SHOW FOR YOUTONIGHT.

MY GUEST REBEL WILSON ON HERTOUR FOR "PITCH PERFECT 2".

BUT FIRST, WE ALL KNOW THAT JEBBUSH-- A.K.A.THE CUTE ONE-- IS

PROBABLY RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

AND WE ALL KNOW IF YOU END UPRUNNING FOR PRESIDENT THERE YOU

END UP MEETING AMERICANS.

>> AFTER A TOWN HALL MEETING INRENO, NEVADA, HE WAS CONFRONTED,

THIS TIME BY A 19-YEAR-OLDCOLLEGE STUDENT AND A DEMOCRAT.

>> YOUR BROTHER CREATED ISIS.

>> IS THAT YOUR QUESTION?

>> YOU DON'T NEED TO BE PEDANTICTO ME, SIR.

>> Jon: OH, SNAP!

THAT IS-- I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE--THAT IS SO--

( LAUGHTER )PEDESTRIAN.

HA!

WELL HANDLED, JEB.

THAT'S ACTUALLY BETTER THANDUBYA WOULD HAVE DONE.

HE WOULD HAVE JUST GIVEN HER ANICKNAME AND DISAPPEARED IN A

CLOUD OF MOUNTAIN BIKE DUST.

I'M GOING TO CALL YOU ROOSTERBECAUSE YOU'RE FEISTY AND GOT

RED HAIR NOW WATCH ME BIKE.

YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE REASON THISCAME UP IS A QUESTION JEB BUSH

GOT EARLIER THIS WEEK WHENFROM WHAT HE PROBABLY

THOUGHT WAS A FRIENDLY FORUM.

>> ON THE SUBJECT OF IRAQ.>> YUP.

>> OBVIOUSLY, VERYCONTROVERSIAL, KNOWING WHAT WE

KNOW NOW, WOULD YOU HAVEAUTHORIZED THE INVASION?

>> Jon: DAMN! YOU'VE GOT ALLPEDANTIC AND ( BLEEP ).

YOU JUST TOOK HIS BROTHER'SDEFINING LEGACY, PLACED IT IN

FRONT OF HIM ON A DISH, ANDINVITED HIM TO ( BLEEP ) ALL

OVER IT.

( LAUGHTER )OH, MEGYN, WE COULD HAVE BEEN

SUCH FRIENDS, YOU AND I.

IMAGINE WHAT A TREMENDOUS TEAMWE MIGHT HAVE MADE.

( LAUGHTER )IF WE DIDN'T FUNDAMENTALLY

DISAGREE ON ALMOST EVERYTHING.

STILL, WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE JEB.

>> I WOULD HAVE, AND SO WOULDHAVE HILLARY CLINTON, JUST TO

REMIND EVERYBODY, AND SO WOULDHAVE ALMOST EVERYBODY THAT WAS

CONFRONTED WITH THE INTELLIGENCETHEY GOT.

>> IT WAS GREAT, IT WAS ALITTLE DEFENSIVE AND THERE WAS

THE ISSUE OF JEB CONVENIENTLYIGNORING MEGYN SAYING,

"KNOWING WHAT WE KNOW NOW."

IN MUCH THE SAME WAY HIS BROTHERIGNORED HANS BLIX SAYING WE

HAVE NO EVIDENCE OF W.M.D.s.

IT'S A SMALL PROBLEM. PROBABLYSHOULD ADDRESS IT.

>> AFTER BACKLASH FROM DEMOCRATSAND REPUBLICANS ALIKE, HE SAID

HE MISINTERPRETED THE QUESTION.

>> WHATEVER I HEARD, IT WASTRANSLATED, "KNOWING WHAT YOU

KNEW THEN, WHAT WOULD DO YOU."

>> IN 20-20 HINDSIGHT YOU WOULDMACK A DIFFERENT DECISION.

>> YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THATDECISION WOULD HAVE BEEN, THAT'S

A HYPOTHETICAL, BUT THE SIMPLEFACT IS MISTAKES WERE MADE,

AS THEY ALWAYS ARE IN LIFE.

>> Jon: MISTAKES ARE ALWAYSMADE IN LIFE LIKE WHEN YOU'RE

YOUNG AND FOOLISH AND ALONE OUTIN THE FIELDS ON A HOT SUMMER

NIGHT AND YOU PROMISE YOURBROTHER HE CAN BE PRESIDENT

FIRST IF HE JUST HELPS YOU BURYTHE BODY AND NEVER SAYS A WORD.

I'M SORRY, WHAT-- WHAT WAS THE--OH!

YOU HAVE CORRECTLY IDENTIFIEDRECEIVING A HYPOTHETICAL

QUESTION, ALSO KNOWN AS BEING INPOLITICS.

GIVE US AN ANSWER!

>> I ADMIRE THE MEN AND WOMEN,MOSTLY MEN, THAT MADE THE

ULTIMATE SACRIFICE.

( LAUGHTER )>> Jon: THAT WAS WEIRD.

>> SO GOING BACK IN TIME ANDTALKING ABOUT HYPOTHETICAL, WHAT

WOULD HAVE HAPPENED WHAT, COULDHAVE HAPPEN, I THINK DOES A

DISSERVICE FOR THEM.

>> Jon: GOING OVER OURMISTAKES IS A DISSERVICE TO THE

SOLDIERS.

UM, LET'S JUST SAY WHEREDISCUSSING MAJOR WAR POLICY

BLUNDERS FALSE ON THE LIST OFDISSERVICE TO IRAQ WAR TROOPS.

LET'S SEE, WE'VE GOT UNNEEDEDWAR, NO EXIT STRATEGY,

NO BODY ARMOR, NO HUMVEE ARMOR,YOU GOT GO TO WAR WITH THE

ARMY YOU HAVE, STOP-LOSS ORDERS,IGNORING GENERAL,

NO POSTWAR PLAN, STARS ANDSTRIPES -- KEEP IT GOING.

DA-DI-DA-DI-DA!

ARMY THEME PRONO GETS UNIFORMSWRONG,

LEARNING FROM PAST MISTAKESYES, IT'S AROUND 355.

( APPLAUSE )SO PLAYING DEAF, HIDING BEHIND

THE TROOPS, OBVIOUSLYVERY PRESIDENTIAL.

TAKE ANOTHER SWING, JEB.

>> GIVEN THE POWER OF LOOKINGBACK AND HAVING THAT, OF COURSE,

ANYBODY WOULD HAVE MADEDIFFERENT DECISIONS.

>> Jon: YEAH, BUT THAT COULDMEAN ANYTHING!

DIFFERENT DECISION COULD MEAN, IMEAN, THAT

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" BANNER.

I WOULD HAVE MADE IT BIGGER.

I MEAN, COME ON, NOBODY COULDSEE IT.

ONE LAST TRY, JEB.

BRING IT HOME.

>> IF WE'RE ALL SUPPOSED TOANSWER HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS,

KNOWING WHAT WE KNOW NOW, WHATWOULD YOU HAVE DONE,

I WOULD HAVE NOT ENGAGED-- IWOULD NOT HAVE GONE INTO IRAQ.

>> Jon: THANK YOU.

( LAUGHTER )WAS THAT SO HARD, AND DID YOU

HAVE TO SAY IT WITH A TONE THATIMPLIED YOU WOULD END THAT

SENTENCE WITH, "OKAY ( BLEEP )."

( LAUGHTER )BUT SO WHAT IF JEB'S ANSWER TO,

"WOULD DO YOU IRAQ AGAIN" HADMORE SEQUELS THAN "STAR TREK,"

"MADDEN FOOTBALL," AND "KNOCKIN'NURSES" SERIES COMBINED.

( LAUGHTER )I'VE ACTUALLY ONLY SEEN ONE OF

THOSE.

( LAUGHTER )IT'S NOT LIKE JEB'S ACTUALLY

RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

>> LAST QUESTION ABOUT YOURCAMPAIGN.

CAN YOU GET IT GOING AGAIN?

>> I THINK EVERYBODY NEEDS TOTAKE A CHILL PILL ON THE POLLS.

I'M NOT A CANDIDATE YET.

>> Jon: OH, YOU'RE NOT ACANDIDATE YET.

TOTALLY NOT A CANDIDATE.

THERE'S SURELY A PERFECTLY GOODREASON WHY, THEN, IF YOU'RE NOT

A CANDIDATE YOU SET UP ATRADITIONAL PAC, A SUPERPAC

THAT'S POISED TO RAISE $100MILLION BY THE END OF MAY.

A NONPROFIT TO RAISE SECRETMONEY.

THAT YOU'VE GONE TO EVENTS INNEW HAMPSHIRE, AND IOWA,

AND NEVADA.

YOU PLANNED A COMMENCEMENTSPEECH AT A SCHOOL SO CHRISTIAN

STUDENTS ARE BANNED FROM APREMARITAL BOOK SHARING.

GAVE A FOREIGN POLICY ADDRESS TOTHE CHICAGO COUNCIL OF

GLOBAL AFFAIRS, GONE TOC-PAC, AN N.R.A. CONVENTION,

ASSEMBLED ANADVISORY TEAM AND-- AND SET UP

HEADQUARTERS IN MIAMI.

MAYBE JEB JUST HAPPENS TO BE AGUY WITH THE MOST BORING BUCKET

LIST EVER.

( LAUGHTER )"I DON'T WANT TO DIE WITH NEVER

HAVING SET FOOT IN THE CHICAGOCOUNCIL OF GLOBAL AFFAIRS."

OR MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, HE'SRUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

WHAT'S SO HARD WITH JUST SAYINGYOU'RE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT?

>> THERE IS A LEGAL REASON JEBBUSH HAS TO BE VERY CAREFUL

NOT TO SAY HE'S RUNNING FORPRESIDENT AND THAT IS ONCE

SOMEBODY IS A CANDIDATETHEY'RE SUBJECT TO VERY STRICT

RULES, WOLF, ESPECIALLY WHEN ITCOMES TO RAISING MONEY AND

COMMUNICATION WITH SUPERPAC.

>> Jon: ONCE YOU ANNOUNCEYOU'RE RUNNING ARE YOU NOT

ALLOWED TO COORDINATE WITH YOURSUPERPACS SO YOU HAVE TO TELL

PEOPLE, THE VOTERS, YOU'RE NOTRUNNING.

I GUESS IT'S BETTER TO RUN FORPRESIDENT AND PRETEND YOU'RE NOT

THAN TO ILLEGALLY COORDINATEWITH YOUR SUPERPAC AND PRETEND

YOU'RE NOT.

( LAUGHTER )BAUSE THE FIRST RULE OF POLITICS

IS YOU CAN LIE TO PEOPLE, FUTBUT DON'T EVER LIE TO YOUR

MONEY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).