Maria Bamford - African Village Makeover

  • Season 11 , Ep 10
  • 02/15/2007
  • Views: 20,354

It's time to give small African villages a makeover. (2:00)

OH MY GOD.

UM-- OKAY. I'M GONNA GET TO THE JOKES.

UM-- OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING OUT HERE THIS SHOW.

OKAY. AH--

"LIKE MOST AMERICANS,I'D LIKE TO HELP OTHERS

"WHILE BEING TELEVISED.

"I'D LIKE TO GO TO AN AREA OF THE WORLD WHERE THEY REALLY NEED MY HELP.

"LIKE WE'RE HERE IN SUB-SAHARAN AFRICA

"BECAUSE PEOPLE SOMETIMES HAVE TO WALK

"TENS OF HUNDREDSOF MILES FOR FOOD, WATERAND BASIC MEDICAL CARE.

"AND THAT'S WHY WE'VE CHOSEN THIS VILLAGE FOR AN EXTREME MAKEOVER!

[LAUGHTER]

"TELL ME, MOBUTU, HOW DOES LIFE FEEL AS A BLONDE?"

[ACCENT] "WELL, ME HUSBAND DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME

"AND NOW WHEN I GO TO THE AID TRUCK AND FIGHT

OTHER WOMEN FOR FLOUR,I FEEL MORE CONFIDENT."

- [LAUGHTER]- AH. I LOVE MY COUNTRY.

AND MAYBE THAT ISBECAUSE I AM RICH. AH...

BUT THINGS HAVE REALLYBEEN WORKING OUT FOR ME.

I'M NOT TECHNICALLY RICH BUT I DO HAVE A LOT OF [BLEEP]

THAT I DON'T NEED THAT I REFUSE TO SHARE WITH OTHERS.

[LAUGHTER]

[HEAVY SIGH] I WAS--I WAS TRYING TO THINK--

I'M ANTI PLASTIC SURGERY BUT I THINK I'D LIKE TO HAVE

ONE OF THOSE HOME DECORATORS COME INTO MY BRAIN AND SAY,

[PERKY VOICE] "WHAT IS IT, 1985 IN HERE?

"LET'S GET RID OF SOME OF THIS STUFF."

"'FEAR OF BEING SUFFOCATED TO DEATH BY BALLOONS.'

ARE YOU USING THAT, 'CAUSE IT'S TAKING UP A LOT OF SPACE."

WELL, IT'S TOUGH ALL OVER. MY MOM TOLD ME RECENTLY,

SHE SAID, "HONEY, WHEN YOU DON'T WEAR MAKEUP,

YOU LOOK MENTALLY ILL."SO NOW WHEN I GO HOME,

I'M CERTAIN TO WEAR THICK GREEN EYE SHADOW

AND A LINE OF LIPSTICK AROUND MY LIPS, HUH?

"BABY LOOK PRETTY NOW, MOMMY?

- [LAUGHTER] - [MUMBLING]."

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