Bill Cosby - Security Questions Pt. 2

Far From Finished Season 1, Ep 101 11/23/2013 Views: 28,142

Bill Cosby has some trouble convincing the security company that he hasn't broken into his own home. (2:36)

IT'S A WOMAN.

SO SHE SAYS,

"I REPRESENTTHE SO-AND-SO SECURITY COMPANY."

SHE SAYS,"WHO AM I TALKING TO?"

I SAID,"WELL, I'M HALF-OWNER OF--

OF THE HOUSE."

SO SHE SAYS--SHE SAYS,

"WELL, DO YOU KNOW

"THAT THERE'S AN ALARMGOING OFF--

GOING OFF?"

I SAID,"I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING."

SHE SAID, "WELL, IT'S GOING--IT'S GOING--

"IT'S SHOWING UPTHAT THERE'S A MALFUNCTION

IN THE FRONT DOOROF THE BUILDING."

SO I SAID, "OKAY.WELL, JUST A MINUTE."

I PUT THE PHONE DOWN,I WENT TO THE FRONT DOOR,

AND THERE'S BOLTSAND KEYS.

SO YOU UNBOLTAND TURN THE KEY, OPEN,

SLAM IT, BOLT, TURN IT.

UNBOLT, UNLOCK,OPEN, SLAM IT,

JIGGLE IT, BANG IT,BOLT IT BACK.

TURN THE KEY.

I WENT BACK UP.

I SAID, "HOW'S IT LOOK?"

SHE SAID, "IT STILL SHOWSTHERE'S A MALFUNCTION."

SHE SAYS, "AND WHO--WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"

I SAID, "COSBY."

SHE SAID,"WHAT IS YOUR CODE NAME?"

I SAID,"I DON'T HAVE A CODE NAME."

SHE SAID, "YES, YOU DO."

I SAID, "MA'AM,I HAVE TO TELL YOU--

"I DON'T DRINK, AND I DON'TDO DRUGS OR ANYTHING.

"I KNOW FOR SUREI DON'T HAVE A CODE NAME.

"I JUST HAVE MY REGULAR NAME,WHICH MY MOTHER GAVE ME,

AND MY WIFE EVEN CALLS MEBY THAT NAME."

SHE SAID, "WELL, SIR, I'MGONNA HAVE TO CALL THE POLICE,

BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOWYOUR CODE--"

I SAID, "MA'AM,THEY'RE NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING

BECAUSE I HAVE A CODE FACE."