Lavell Crawford - Meeting God

Lavell Crawford: Can a Brother Get Some Love? Season 1, Ep 0101 08/12/2011 Views: 23,112

Lavell Crawford envisions seeing God for the first time in Heaven. (1:32)

I'M LIKE, "NO."

OTHER ANGELS FALLING

OUT THE SKY

'CAUSE THEY AIN'T PUT ENOUGH

MINUTES ON THEY WINGS.

'CAUSE PEOPLE ALWAYS TALKING

ABOUT, YOU KNOW--

THEY ALWAYS GOT THESE

MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT GOD.

ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE HIM

A PERSON, YOU KNOW?

ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT,

"GOD IS A WOMAN.

GOD IS WHITE.

GOD IS BLACK."

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT COLOR HE IS.

BUT IF I GET UP

INTO HEAVEN

AFTER I LIVE OLD AGE

LIKE MY GRANDADDY--ABOUT 81.

THAT'S AS FAR AS I WANT TO GO.

ABOUT 81.

THAT'S OLD ENOUGH.

YOU DON'T WANT TO GET

PAST THAT.

YOU GET UP IN YOUR

100s AND SHIT, YOU SHAKING.

YOU CAN'T EVEN EAT

YOUR DAMN CORN AND SHIT.

YOUR PANTS PULLED UP

TO YOUR GODDAMN CHIN.

YOUR BALLS RIGHT HERE.

AND THEY BE ALWAYS LIKE,

"LOOK AT HIM.

HE STILL GETTIN' AROUND."

SHUT YOUR STANKY ASS UP.

BUT IF I GET TO HEAVEN,

YOU KNOW,

AND GOD IS WHITE,

I'LL BE LIKE,

"I KNEW IT ALL ALONG.

SHOW ME TO THE HOOD."

BUT IF I GET TO HEAVEN

AND GOD IS BLACK...

THAT'S GON' PISS ME OFF

A LITTLE BIT.

I'LL BE LIKE,

"AIN'T THIS A BITCH?

YOU BEEN BLACK ALL ALONG?

AIN'T YOU BEEN SEEING WHAT THE

HELL GOING ON DOWN THERE?

NO! NO!

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

UH-UH! UH-UH!