Pete Holmes - New York State Lottery

  • Season 2 , Ep 1
  • 03/25/2011
  • Views: 18,481

The New York State Lottery slogan? "Hey, you never know." That's what they went with; they had a meeting. (2:31)

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IS OUR SLOGAN FOR THE NEW YORKSTATE LOTTERY.

I'M SURE YOU'VE SEEN ITON THE SUBWAY OR A BILLBOARD

WHICH IS JUST,"NEW YORK STATE LOTTERY.

"HEY...

YOU NEVER KNOW."

(laughter)

THAT'S WHAT THEY WENT WITH!

THEY HAD A MEETING.

HOW ABOUT,"HEY, YOU NEVER KNOW"?

EEH?!

DO YOU KNOW?!DO YOU REALLY KNOW?

YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?YOU DON'T KNOW!

BUY A TICKET!

IT EVEN HAS THAT "HEY"IN THERE TO GET YOUR ATTENTION,

LIKE, "HEY.""YEAH?"

"YOU NEVER KNOW.

EEH?

I FEEL LIKE THAT SOUNDIS IMPLIED. "EEH?"

THAT'LL BE THE SLOGANIN 15 YEARS, JUST,

"NEW YORK STATE LOTTERY--MEEHH?"

(laughter)

"I'M NOT A DOCTOR."(laughs)

NO ONE ELSE ADVERTISESTHAT WAY.

JUST LIKE, "STARBUCKS!(nervous chuckle)"

(laughter)

"MAYBE IT MAKES YOU IMMORTAL,I DON'T KNOW!

OH!"

(laughter)

(laughs)

MIX IT UP A LITTLE BIT--THIS IS MY IMPRESSION OF A GUY

ASKING HIS FRIEND PIERCETO GET BEERS FOR A PARTY.

PIERCE!

(laughter)

PIERCE!! PIERCE!

GET BEERS, PIERCE!

PIERCE, GET BEERS!

AND MUSIC, PIERCE!

TEARS FOR FEARS,PIERCE!

TEARS FOR FEARS!GO TO SEARS!

THREE CHEERS FOR PIERCE!

IF YOU DON'T DO THAT ALONEIN THE SHOWER TOMORROW,

YOU'RE DEAD INSIDE.

(laughter)

SOAP UP,MAKE UP YOUR OWN.

"I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN YEARS,PIERCE!"

LIVE YOUR LIFE.

NO ONE ELSEIS GONNA TELL YOU TO.

THIS IS MY IMPRESSION OF A GUYASKING HIS FRIEND CHRIS

TO GET INHIS HYBRID VEHICLE.

CHRIS!

GET IN YOUR PRIUS,CHRIS!

THAT'S THE END OF THE JOKE.THERE'S NOTHING ELSE.

(cheers and applause)THAT'S THE END.

WHAT ELSE COULD THERE BE?

IT'S A LOT OF FUN.

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