Wasted on the Titanic

Great Escapes Season 4, Ep 1 09/27/2016 Views: 7,786

When the Titanic begins to sink, the ship's chief baker keeps his cool with a little help from his flask of whiskey. (6:15)

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- [breathes deeply]

Okay.[clears throat]

- Ready?- Yes.

Hello, I'm Doug Jones,and today,

we're gonna talk aboutCharles Joughin,

the chief bakerof the RMS "Titanic,"

who saved his own life

by drinking whiskey.

- That was great.

- [laughs]

Our story begins in 1912, when the "Titanic"

was ready for its maiden voyage.

Charles Joughin was hired as the chief baker.

He's 34 years old.

He's like, holy shit, this is the big times.

And baking that comes out of the voyage,

I am the guy that decides, is it a pie or a cake?

Cake. Pie.

Pie.

Cake.

[burps]

I'm in charge.

Also, Charles Joughin

was a lover of the booze.

He kept a flask on his person at all times.

He kept booze stocked in his personal cabin.

And he was actually making his own booze.

All right,so April 14, 1912,

11:40 p.m.

At this point, Charles Joughin was drunk.

He's retired with a nightcap.

All of a sudden, the "Titanic" hits the iceberg.

[screeches]

The whole room shaking, he gets up out of his bunk

and he's just like, what the hell's going on?

Word started being passed down that there was

an emergency and they were deploying lifeboats.

And he's like, oh, my God, that's serious.

The little bit of whiskeymade him keep his cool.

Charles Joughin arrives on the top deck.

It's time for him to get on the lifeboat.

But he begins escorting women and children

into the lifeboats.

Now, some of the women declined to get into the lifeboat.

They looked at the lifeboat, they said,

that's not safe.

I'm gonna stay on the "Titanic."

Everyone says that it's unsinkable.

Charles Joughin was like, are you crazy?

Get on the lifeboat now.

And the women were like,

no, you're a baker.

You look silly with your hat.

He was like, okay, well if you're not

getting on the lifeboat, then I'll get you

on the lifeboat for you.

And he starts picking up the women and children.

Takes them,throws them down.

He finishes loading the lifeboat.

He starts picking up deck chairs

and throwing them overboard.

[laughs]

- Okay, keep going.

The process of the sinking

was in motion, and there was no turning back at that point.

But he goes back to his cabin and he's like,

ugh, what a day.

He pours himself another glass of whiskey,

and he just chills.

[sputters]

[laughs]

When I laughed, I blew--

I blew the alcoholinto my face.

[laughs]

I blew it into my face.

[exhales]

I'm doing a good job.

[foghorn blaring]

- RMS.- Mm-hmm.

- RMS stands for"Royal Mail Ship."

Do you know howit was a mail ship?

- No.

- It had a big fat dick.

[laughs]

That's the joke.

So after, uh, 30 minutes,

the water starts flooding in.

There's a huge crash.

[screeches]

[mimics crash]

And he's like, oh, my God, what now?

Could this get any worse?

The "Titanic" breaks in half.

And the whole stern side of the ship

starts tilting.

He goes back up to the deck.

Everybody's panicking.

Men, women, and children all sliding down the deck,

falling off of the boat.

He just kept his cool.

People are screaming.

[screams]

He put his life belt on and he tightened it up.

All right, very causally, he marches up to the stern

and climbs over the railing.

He said out loud,

well, here we go.

As the ship sinks, he's riding the stern down

like an elevator.

Very elegant, like a full-on gentleman.

And he just gracefully steps into the water.

Doesn't even get a single hair on his head wet.

Charles Joughin wasthe very last person

on the RMS "Titanic."

Because of the amount of alcohol,

he didn't feel the cold at all,

and he was able to sustain the cold temperature

for over three hours.

The rescue shipfinally arrived.

Out of the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people

who fell in the water,

only six survivors.

When he gets on the ship,

They're immediately giving him medical attention.

And they decide to thaw him out

by putting him into a oven.

So he goes in the oven, and he's just kind of like,

wow, look at me now.

[laughs]

- [laughs]

- Yesterday, I was baking pies in an oven,

today, I am in an oven and I am--

I am pie!

[both laughing]

- I'm gonna--I'm gonna shoot it with you.

But do you realize, we're aboutto be [bleep] freezing cold?

Remember--- This is for Charles Joughin.

If he can do it,I can do it.

All right.

- [screams]

- [laughs]

[both screaming and laughing]

Okay.Whoo!

- Let's get in the oven.