Rapid Refresh - Madonna: Model Parent

  • Season 1 , Ep 1001
  • 01/06/2014
  • Views: 946

Kumail Nanjiani, Paul Scheer and Andrea Savage guess a football kicker's apology tweet and caption Madonna's party picture. (3:06)

(LAUGHTER)RIPPED FROM

TODAY'S INTERNET HEADLINES IT'SRAPID REFRESH, THE FIRST ONE OF

2014.

(APPLAUSE)THE FIRST COMEDIAN TO BUZZ IN

WITH THE ANSWER GET 1S00 POINTS.

POINT VALUES DIDN'T CHANGE OVERTHE HOLIDAYS.

NO INFLATION.

IT WAS A BIG WEEKEND FORFOOTBALLING, WHATEVER THAT IS.

(LAUGHTER)PAT MACK -- SPORTS IS CRAZY.

PAT McAFEE WHO'S PAID TO KICKFOOTBALLS ACCIDENTALLY

PHOTOGRAPHED MAN BALLS.

THAT IS NAKED INDIANAPOLIS COLTSQUARTER BACK ANDREW LUCK

UNLUCKILY PHOTO BOMBING A LOCKERROOM PICTURE IN WHICH McAFEE

TWEETED AND QUICKLY DELETED.

THERE HE IS IN THE BACKGROUND.

LOOK AT LITTLE WOLVERINE THERE.

LOGAN, DOES IT HURT WHEN ITCOMES OUT?

EVERY TIME.

(LAUGHTER)I'LL TAKES IT WHAT WAS McAFEE'S

NEXT TWEET.

WAS IT.

A)OH, BOY, HALF NAKED ANDREW IN

THE BACK OF THAT LAST ONE.

B.)OOPS, SORRY, ANDREW, BUT TALK

ABOUT GOING LONG!

(LAUGHTER)C)

WHOOPS, THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BEA D.M. I LOVE MY WIFE.

>> Chris: KUMAIL?

>>>> A!

>> Chris: THE CORRECT ANSWER IS"A."

WOULD YOU FWLANG PICTURE BACKUP?

DO YOU THINK HE DELETED ITBECAUSE OF THE TWEET OR THIS

GUY'S AWFUL SANDALS?

(LAUGHTER)NOW, CHRISS THIS IS THE SAME

OUTFIT YOU WEAR BEHIND THATPODIUM.

>> YES, I'M WEARING A TOWEL ANDSANDALS UNDERNEATH.

>> NOTHING'S CHANGED!

(APPLAUSE)>> Chris: POINTS TO ANDREA

SAVAGE AS REPARATIONS FOR OURRELATIONSHIP.

ALL RIGHT, MADONNA CAUSED ASTORM OF CONTROVERSY AVENUE

INSTAGRAMING HER THIS PICTURE OFHER 13-YEAR-OLD SON ROCCO AND

HIS TEENAGE FRIENDS HOLDINGBOTTLES OF ALCOHOL-- BECAUSE

THAT'S GOOD PARENTING.

MADONNA?

REALLY?

THE INTERNET IS ALL PISSED OFFABOUT IT NOW.

HOW DID MADONNA CAPTION THISPICTURE?

A)I'VE DEFLOWERED BACKUP DANCES

THAT LOOK YOUNGER THAN THIS.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)B)

THE PARTY HAS JUST BEGUN, BRINGIT 2014!

C)TRUTH OR DARE, HE CHOSE DARE

#LIGHTWEIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)YES, KUMAIL?

>> I'M GOING GO WITH "B" THEPARTY HAS JUST BEGUN.

>> YES.

BRING IT 2014!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Chris: WHY DID SHE HANG OUT

WITH SOMEBODY SIGNIFICANTLYOLDER AND SIGNIFICANTLY YOUNGER?

THIS IS LIKE A FAILED T.G.I.

FRIDAY SHOW.

(LAUGHTER)IT'S CALLED 12 STEP BY STEP.

(LAUGHTER)POINTS TO ME!

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