>> Chris: ALL RIGHT, RIPPED FROM
TODAY'S INTERNET HEADLINES, IT
IS RAPID REFRESH, THE FIRST ONE
OF 2014.
(APPLAUSE)
THE FIRST COMEDIAN TO BUZZ IN
WITH THE CORRECT ANSWER GETS 100
POINTS.
POINT VALUES DID NOT CHANGE OVER
THE HOLIDAYS.
NO INFLATION.
IT WAS A BIG WEEKEND FOR
FOOTBALLING, WHATEVER THAT IS.
PAT Mc... SPORTS IS CRAZY,
KUMAIL.
PAT McAFEE, WHO'S PAID TO KICK
FOOTBALLS, ACCIDENTALLY
PHOTOGRAPHED MAN BALLS.
IF YOU CAN SEE THIS IN THE
BACKGROUND THERE, THAT IS NAKED
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS QUARTERBACK
ANDREW LUCK UNLUCKILY
PHOTOBOMBING A LOCKER ROOM
PICTURE WHICH McAFEE TWEETED AND
QUICKLY DELETED.
THERE HE IS IN THE BACKGROUND
THERE.
AWW, LOOK AT LITTLE WOLVERINE
BACK THERE.
(LAUGHTER)
"LOGAN, DOES IT HURT WHEN IT
COMES OUT?"
"EVERY TIME."
(LAUGHTER)
OH, COME ON.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKE IT.
I'LL TAKE IT.
I'M ATTENTION STARVED.
IT WAS A LONG HOLIDAY.
WHAT WAS McAFEE'S NEXT TWEET?
WAS IT:
KUMAIL?
>> A!
>> Chris: THE CORRECT ANSWER IS
"A."
WOULD YOU BRING THAT PICTURE
BACK UP?
DO YOU THINK HE DELETED IT
BECAUSE OF THE TWEET, OR BECAUSE
OF THIS GUY'S AWFUL SANDALS
RIGHT HERE?
>> NOW, CHRIS THIS IS THE SAME
OUTFIT THAT YOU WEAR BEHIND THAT
PODIUM.
IT'S JUST A TOWEL AND FLIP
FLOPS, RIGHT?
YEAH.
>> Chris: YES, I'M WEARING A
TOWEL AND SANDALS UNDERNEATH.
>> NOTHING'S CHANGED!
(laughter)
>> Chris: POINTS TO ANDREA
SAVAGE AS REPARATIONS FOR OUR
RELATIONSHIP.
ALL RIGHT, MADONNA CAUSED A
SHITESTORM OF CONTROVERSY AFTER
INSTAGRAMMING THIS PICTURE OF
HER 13-YEAR-OLD SON ROCCO AND
TWO OF HIS TEENAGE FRIENDS
HOLDING BOTTLES OF ALCOHOL,
BECAUSE THAT'S JUST GOOD
PARENTING.
MADONNA?
REALLY?
(LAUGHTER)
THE INTERNET'S ALL PISSED OFF
ABOUT IT NOW.
HOW DID MADONNA CAPTION THIS
PICTURE?
(LAUGHTER)
YES, KUMAIL?
>> I'M GOING GO WITH B.
THE PARTY HAS JUST BEGUN.
>> Chris: YES!
>> WHY DOES HE HANG OUT WITH
SOMEONE SIGNIFICANTLY OLDER AND
THEN SIGNIFICANTLY YOUNGER?
(LAUGHTER)
>> THIS IS LIKE A FAILED T.G.I.
FRIDAY SHOW.
>> Chris: IT'S CALLED 12 STEP BY
STEP.
(LAUGHTER)
POINTS TO ME!