Dwayne Kennedy - Bible Stories

  • Season 1 , Ep 10
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 18,808

When the apostles got drunk, their stories got away from them. (1:38)

♪♪

(Nick)I COULD SEE BEING THE POPE.

(Patrice)NAH, I'M NOT INTOTHOSE POINTY HATS.

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULDBE COOL THOUGH?

BEING A RABBI.

(Nick)GENIUS, YOU GOTTA BEJEWISH TO BE A RABBI.

THERE'S NO SUCHTHING AS BLACK JEWS.

YEAH, SURE THERE ARE.

THERE'S SAMMY DAVIS JR...

THERE'S...

THERE'S SAMMY DAVIS JR.

THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.

ANYWAY, I COULD STARTA WHOLE NEW TREND.

I'M SURE ALL THEJEWS IN LONG ISLANDARE GONNA LOVE THAT.

(Patrice)THEY'LL STOP COMPLAININGWHEN THEY SHOW UP

TO THE TEMPLE AND I'MGONNA HAVE HIP-HOP STARS

PERFORM AT THE SERVICE.

GIVE ME "BARUCH"MOTHER (bleep)ER!

(Patrice)PEOPLE GONNA BE PAYINGTO GET INTO TEMPLE!

(chanting)ALAYYEEEEEEE,MEEDLUHHUUUUUUH.

(Dwayne Kennedy)TWO THINGS THEY TALKABOUT IN THE BIBLE A LOT...

ARE WINE...

AND (bleep) THAT'SHARD TO BELIEVE.

I THINK THE WINECAME FIRST,

AND THEN THUS, HENCE, ERGO...

FOLLOWS ALL THAT (bleep)THAT'S KINDA, YOU KNOW.

'CAUSE YOU KNOW HOWIT IS SOMETIMES, MAN?

YOU'D BE SITTIN'AROUND, DRINKING WINE...

Y'KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

WITH A GROUP OF YOUR FRIENDS.

OR SOME APOSTLES.

AND THE STORIES JUST STARTGETTIN' AWAY FROM YOU.

YEAH, MAN, I MEAN,IT'S LIKE YESTERDAY

I SEEN THIS DOG--LOOKSLIKE A BEAST!

HE HAD, I DUNNO,

ONE OR... SEVEN HEADS!

AND THE BUSH WAS 0N FIRE

AND TALKING TO ME!

I'M DRUNK.

BUT YOU CAN QUOTEME ON THAT!

I HEAR YOU WRITING A BOOK.

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