Kurt Metzger - Fighting for a Cab Pt. 1

Kurt Metzger: White Precious Season 1, Ep 1 07/11/2014 Views: 3,855

As a New York City resident, Kurt Metzger has a tendency to get into fights with a weird variety of people. (2:24)

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You get in fightswith people here

that you don't expect.

Like, it's not like fightswhere you just like--

you know, I think I'm gonnafight some guy my size.

You get in fights withjust random people of all--

old ladies.

You know, like,you fight with,

like, a weird varietyof people,

and a lot of timesabout cabs.

I get in a lot of cab fights,

'cause there's just not enoughcabs here.

I don't knowwhat's going on,

but I can't--sometimes--this is no lie.

Using all of my whiteness,I cannot--

just stand at the corner.

They just drive by me with,

like, whiter people than me?

I don't know what's happening.

There's gingers and albinoslaughing at me.

Calling me mean words.

So I got in a fightwith this lady for a cab,

and so I called her, like--

well, have you ever seen--

did you ever seethe movie Precious?

Have you guys seen Precious?

Black people, have you seen,not Precious--

Have you seen Precious?

- Yeah.- Okay.

Have you seen--but this is more--

this is a more importantquestion.

Have you seen The Human Centipede,

which is like our Precious?

That's, like, our very--

movie for white peopleto watch.

It's, like,the same kind of--

Like, it's like peopletrapped in a bad situation.

They don't knowhow to eat right.

You know?

Don't have a good diet,

so it's like, it doesn'tend up good for them.

But here's my problemwith Precious.

That's not a true story.

That's made up.Do you know that?

That's not a real girl.

They made her up.

Why are you making upthis girl

and doing these thingsto her?

What--like, who's gettinghelped by that,

from Precious?

'Cause I'll tell youwho's not getting helped.

Girls that look like Precious,

their lives are destroyedright now.

Their lives were ruinedby that movie,

'cause I got newsfor you--

you piss me offand look like Precious,

I'ma call you Precious.

Like, you don't evenhave to look like her that much.

So I called this ladyWhite Precious,

and she looked very surprised,like...

She thought she couldn'tget called Precious

'cause she was white.

Bam!White Precious!

That's how clever I am.

Quick on my feet.

'Cause we werefighting over a cab, you know?