-This city, it's too fun.
I got so drunk lastnight, I blacked out.
And I hate blackingout, I-- I think.
I can't remember, butuh I got so-- uh no.
There's no way of knowingwhen I'm drunk, except I slur.
Like I say racial slursand it's really weird.
But no, I am so not racist.
My best friend of the worldssleeps with black guys,
so it's like-- it's likeonce removed, you now.
Actually my best friend isAfrican American, and uh--
and she's teaching mehow to freestyle rap.
And I'm teaching herhow to freestyle swim.
So it's like really-- it'slike a fun time for everybody
No, I want you guysto know I'm the most
non-racist person in the world.
That's definitelynot a word, right?
-But anyway um likehere's an example.
I was at this fancy party,and Michelle Kwan walks in.
You know who that is?
Actually she kindof like glided in.
We were all like,relax, you know.
She's like carrying a torch.
We were like, we get it.
So we start talking,'caus I made it happen.
Um I was like, weird,you're in the bathroom.
And uh she's like talking to melike boring ice skate chatter.
She's like, it's sohard to get ice time.
I was like, yourproblems are so real.
Um I was like, who is this girl?
Some people have no arms andthey paint with their feet.
Um actually just a block away.
And uh-- purchase something.
-So she tells me out ofnowhere that Oliver Stone,
the director, has thishuge Asian fetish.
And she was like, and Ifind it totally offensive.
And I was like, why, Kwan?
I was like, what's up?
She's like, well, I'm Asian.
And I was like, see Ididn't even notice that.
I thought you werejust like really tired.
Asian people love me.
It's like white on rice.
-Don't worry about that.
But, you know, peoplethink that because I'm
a white female that Idon't deal with racism.
And I don't, but--
-I've seen movies about it.
You know, I know it's outthere, but uh actually I did.
I grew up in a totally IrishCatholic town I was the only
Jewish kid, and Iwas like really poor.
So everybody was so confused.
They were like, howdo we make fun of you?
I was like, that'sreally not my problem.
Um but one summer thekids took to throwing
handfuls of pennies at me.
And I was like, this is awesome.
Oh my god.
It was like the wellscene in Goonies.
I was like--