John Heffron - Roommate Rob

  • Season 11 , Ep 2
  • 01/11/2007
  • Views: 16,818

John loves his wife but misses his roommate, Rob. (1:38)

WELL, WHEN I GOT MARRIED-- THANK YOU.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO APPLAUSE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO APPLAUSE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I ALWAYS GET MARRIAGE ADVICE WHEN I FIRST GOT MARRIED.

PEOPLE ALWAYS TOLD ME[WHINEY VOICE] "JUST REMEMBER--"

I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY TALK LIKE THAT, BUT IT'S WHATEVER.

THEY GO-- "MARRIAGE ISN'T A SPRINT; IT'S A MARATHON."

IT'S THE RUNNING WITH THE BULLS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE.

YOU JUST KEEP RUNNINGAND HEAR PEOPLE GETTING

GORED BEHIND YOU AND JUST HOPE IT NEVER HAPPENS TO YOU.

I GOT TO TELL YOU THIS,

A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENED TO ME DURING MARRIAGE THAT I DIDN'T KNOW.

DID YOU GUYS KNOW THIS MY YOUNG FRIENDS IN HERE,

DID YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GET MARRIED YOUR WIFE MOVES IN WITH YOU?

[LAUGHTER]

YEAH. AND WHEN SHE MOVES IN WITH YOU,

SHE'LL MAKE YOU GET RID OFEVERYTHING YOU HAD PRIOR TO HER.

THINK OF SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY COOL AT YOUR PLACE.

NOW THINK OF IT GONE. RIGHT, LIKE THE FIRST THING

MY WIFE MADE ME GET RID OFWAS MY ROOMMATE.

- [LAUGHTER] - YEAH. I MISS ROB.

ME AND ROB HAD THE GREATEST RELATIONSHIP IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

NEVER ONCE DID ROB EVER JUMP UP ONTO THE COUCH

AND PUT HIS TOES UNDER MY BUTT 'CAUSE THEY WERE COLD.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'D SAY, "I'M HUNGRY. YOU HUNGRY?" "YEAH."

"WHERE DO YOU WANT TO EAT?""I DON'T CARE."

AND THAT WAS THE END OF THE CONVERSATION.

DON'T GET ME WRONG, PEOPLE, I LOVE MY WIFE. BUT I MISS ROB.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND GROWING UP I THOUGHTI HAD A DUMB DAD, RIGHT,

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