Carlos Mencia - Jiggaman

Carlos Mencia: Performance Enhanced Season 1, Ep 101 05/18/2008 Views: 721

Carlos Mencia pitches his idea for a black Superman and presents his 12-year plan for America to embrace racial humor. (1:50)

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"I'M SUPERMAN, "BUT I'M GONNAPRETEND I'M CLARK KENT.

YOU KNOW, SO THAT PEOPLE--"

SHUT UP, DUMB-ASS.

I WANT SUPERMANTO COME BACK BLACK.

THAT'S MY MOVIE.

"SUPERMAN RETURNS BLACK--JIGGA MAN."

THAT'S THE NAME OF MY NEW MOVIE."JIGGA MAN."

JIGGA MAN DOESN'T HAVE A PROBLEMWITH HIS ALTER EGO...

(deep voice) 'CAUSE JIGGA MANDOESN'T HAVE A JOB.

(laughter)

JIGGA MAN EVEN FLIES GHETTO.

"HA HA!"

AND HE HITS THE BAD GUYSWITH HIS PENIS.

"COME HERE..."(thump)

"WHERE YOU GOIN', BITCH?"(thump)

"OH, MY GOD! IT'S A BIRD!IT'S--

"OH, IT'S JIGGA MAN. HE'S...

"PLEASE DON'T TEA BAG ME,JIGGA MAN.

DON'T TEA BAG ME."

(laughter)

THIS IS RIDICULOUS,

BUT IT IS NOT ALL BAD,

BECAUSE THINK ABOUT THIS, FOLKS.

IN THE NEXT 12 YEARS,WE CAN GET RID OF ALL EXCUSES,

AND WE CAN JUST GETTO THE FUNNIES

WITH RACIAL HUMOR. YES.

IF WE VOTE IN OBAMA RIGHT NOW...(thump)

BAM--YOU CAN DOALL THE BLACK JOKES

AND MAKE FUN OF ALLTHE BLACK PEOPLE YOU WANT.

NEXT FOUR YEARS, BAM--WE VOTE IN AN ASIAN GUY.

NOT ONLY CAN YOU DO ASIAN JOKES,BUT YOU CAN WALK UP TO 'EM

AND GO,"YOU LOOK ALIKE TO ME."

♪ CHANG, CHANG, CHUNG, CHUNG,DING-A, DING-A, DING ♪

OH, YEAH. THEN THE YEARAFTER THAT, WE VOTE IN A LATINO.

NO BITCHING. NO MOANING.

NOW YOU CAN MAKE FUNOF EVERYBODY,

AND I KNOW SOME OF YOUARE THINKING,

"BUT, CARLOS,I WISH THAT I COULD MAKE FUN

OF HANDICAPPED PEOPLE."

YOU ALREADY CAN.OUR PRESIDENT IS RETARDED.