Nikki Glaser - A Woman's Age

Nikki Glaser: Perfect Season 1, Ep 1 04/09/2016 Views: 1,612

Nikki Glaser explains why she's having defaulting accepting that she's an adult and why she wants to have a baby but not a child. (1:55)

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It's so good to be here.

I am in the prime of my life.

I'm in my late 20s.

I'm 31,and it's just--

it's going great.

I--that's a woman's age.

Like, I am a woman,

but I don't feel like onemost of the time.

I'm still feeling likea girl a lot of times.

Like, I'm still relatingto Taylor Swift songs

on a level I definitelyshouldn't, you know?

But, like, my back hurts a lot,so I'm like,

"Oh, that's right,I can't shake it off.

"Like, I wish--

I wish I could."

I'm on Snapchat, you know?

But, like, I Googlebunion surgery every day,

so looking into that.

It's weird, like, I feelconfident most of the time,

but there are timeswhen I'm like, "Ugh."

Like, the other day,I got jealous

of a dog's thigh gap.

I'm not proud of that.

Just like,"How does she do it?

But I'm just, like,not where I should be,

I feel, as a 31-year-old.

I don't want a lot of thingsthat girls my age want.

I don't want kids.

I do want a baby, though,

so it's like,ugh, you know?

'Cause that's--

they become that, and so...

Yeah, I do want a baby,but, like,

I feel likemost women want babies,

and that's maybewhy so many of us exist,

'cause babies are so cute,everyone wants one.

They're like the puppiesof humans, I've heard.

I think a scientistsaid that once,

and, you know, it's like--and that's all

you hear women saywhen they're gonna have kids.

They're like,"Oh, we're trying for a baby.

"Oh, we're gonna have a baby.

"We just had a baby.Baby."

And it's like,"Yeah, I know, but, like,

"eventually it's just gonna besome dude named Doug.

"You know that, right?

Like,it's just gonna be a guy."

Like, it's always "baby,"but it's like,

it's a baby this muchof the time you know it,

and then it's all Doug.

Like, it's just a--no one's ever like,

"Oh, we're having a man."

[laughter]