Uncensored - Nick Kroll - Drunk Packing

Nick Kroll: Thank You Very Cool Season 1, Ep 101 01/29/2011 Views: 14,256

Nick Kroll questions the logic of porn magazines and describes his pre-vacation packing ritual. (2:28)

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IF YOU'RE STILL USING PORNOMAGAZINES

YOU'RE BASICALLY TELLINGEVERYONE

THAT YOU HAVE NO IDEAWHAT THE INTERNET IS.

USING A PORNO MAGAZINEIS BEING LIKE,

"OH, I DON'T USE LUBRICANTWHEN I HAVE SEX.

I JUST USETHIS CUP OF SAND."

AND THEN YOU GET ON THE PLANEWITH YOUR PORNO MAGAZINE?

WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE, YOU'RE--

IT'S LIKE, "EXCUSE ME,STEWARDESS?

I'M GONNA NEEDA BLANKET, PLEASE."

TRAVELING A LOT,I, UH...I DRUNK PACK.

DO WE ALL KNOWWHAT DRUNK PACKING IS?

[cheers and applause]

RIGHT? JUST LIKEYOU COME HOME, YOU'RE LIKE...

"GONNA WATCH THIS EXTENZEINFOMERCIAL ON 'SILENT.'"

"POUR MYSELF A CUP OF WATER

AND THEN FORGET ABOUT ITON THIS TABLE."

"AND NOW IT IS TIMETO PACK

FOR MY FIVE-DAY TRIPTO JAMAICA."

"WHAT DO I NEED FOR FIVE DAYSIN JAMAICA?

ONE UNDERWEARS."

"SIX BOW TIES."

[laughing]

[long squealing laugh]

"I'M GONNA BRINGTHIS BULKY SANTA SUIT

WITH ME TO JAMAICA!"

"IT'S GONNA BESO HOT IN JAMAICA.

"BIRCHMAN'S GONNA BE LIKE,

"'DUDE, WHY DID YOUBRING A SANTA SUIT?'

"AND THEM I'M GONNA BE LIKE,

"'DUDE, WHY DID YOUTOUCH YOUR DOG'S DICK

WHEN WE WERE KIDS?'"

"I'M GONNA BRINGSOME WEED,

"'CAUSE I DON'T KNOWIF THEY'RE GONNA HAVE

ANY WEED IN JAMAICA."

"WHAT'S THIS?"

"PICTURESFROM SEVENTH GRADE?"

"I SHOULD PROBABLY LOOK AT THESEFOR 45 MINUTES."