Confession Bear - The Neighbor's Cat

  • Season 1 , Ep 01008
  • 01/16/2014
  • Views: 949

Chris gives the panel partial confessions from Reddit that use the Confession Bear meme, and the comedians must complete them. (1:43)

IT'S TIME TO PLAY "CONFESSION

BEAR."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

REDDITORS LOVE TO MAKE

CONFESSIONS USING THIS ADORABLY

SAD BEAR, BECAUSE SAD BEARS MAKE

EVERYTHING OKAY.

>> THAT'S MY SPIRIT ANIMAL.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: THAT'S A MIKE LAWRENCE

GRIZZLY.

ALL RIGHT.

WE WILL GIVE YOU THE FIRST PART

OF THE CONFESSION BEAR, AND YOUR

JOB IS TO COME UP WITH A FUNNIER

CONFESSION THAN THE REAL ONE.

POINTS WILL BE AWARDED AT OUR

COLLECTIVE DETERMINATION.

HERE IS THE FIRST ONE.

TOLD MY FRIENDS I COULDN'T GO

SNOWBOARDING...

PAUL F. TOMPKINS?

>> BECAUSE I LOST THE MAGIC TOP

HAT THAT BRINGS ME TO LIFE.

(LAUGHTER)

THE ACTUAL CONFESSION WAS...

SO I COULD SLEEP WITH ONE OF

THEIR GIRLFRIENDS.

PAUL F. TOMPKINS GETS POINTS!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

YOUR ANSWER WAS MAGICAL, THAT

GUY WAS JUST A DOUCHEBAG.

NEXT ONE.

I RAN OVER THE NEIGHBOR'S CAT...

JEN KIRKMAN?

>> JUST TO WATCH HIM DIE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: HEY, YOU'RE WEARING

ALL BLACK, TOO!

THE ACTUAL ANSWER WAS

AND LATER HELPED THEM PUT UP

"MISSING" POSTERS.

>> THAT'S NOT THAT BAD.

THAT ONE'S NOT THAT BAD.

>> Chris: THEY'RE STILL TRYING

TO HELP.

I'M SO GOING TO GIVE POINTS TO

JEN KIRKMAN.

PAUL, YOU RAISED YOUR HAND?

>> BECAUSE PERIODICALLY THE

DRIVEWAY OF LIBERTY MUST BE

WATERED WITH THE BLOOD OF THE

NEIGHBOR'S CAT.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: VERY HISTORICAL.

I'LL GIVE YOU POINTS FOR THAT

PAUL F. TOMPKINS.

YES, MIKE LAWRENCE?

>> I RAN OVER THE NEIGHBOR'S CAT

NINE TIMES JUST TO MAKE SURE.

(LAUGHTER)

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