Confession Bear - The Neighbor's Cat

  • Season 1 , Ep 01008
  • 01/16/2014
  • Views: 936

Chris gives the panel partial confessions from Reddit that use the Confession Bear meme, and the comedians must complete them. (1:47)

IT'S TIME TO PLAY "CONFESSIONBEAR."

[ APPLAUSE ]REDDITORS MAKE CONFESSIONS USING

THIS ADORABLY SAD BEAR, BECAUSESAD BEARS MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY,

EXCEPT FOREST FIRES.

THAT'S MY SPIRIT ANIMAL.

[LAUGHTER]ALL RIGHT.

WE WILL GIVE YOU THE FIRST PARTOF THE CONFESSION BEAR, AND YOUR

JOB IS TO COME UP WITH A FUNNIERCONFESSION THAN THE REAL ONE.

POINTS WILL BE AWARDED AT MYDETERMINATION.

HERE IS THE FIRST ONE.

Q: TOLD MY FRIENDS I COULDN'T GOSNOWBOARDING.

>> PAUL TOMPKINS?

>> BECAUSE I LOST THE MAGIC TOPHAT THAT BRINGS ME TO LIFE.

[LAUGHTER]THE ACTUAL CONFESSION WAS --

A: SO I COULD SLEEP WITH ONE OFTHEIR GIRLFRIENDS.

PAUL TOMPKINS GETS POINTS!

THAT GUY WAS A DOUCHE BAG.

NEXT ONE.

Q: I RAN OVER THE NEIGHBOR'S CAT>> JEN KIRKMAN?

>> JUST TO WATCH HIM DIE.

>> HEY, THE ACTUAL ANSWER WASA: AND LATER HELPED THEM PUT UP

"MISSING" POSTERS.

THAT ONE IS NOT THAT BAD.

STILL TRYING TO HELP.

STILL POINTS FOR JEN KIRKMAN.

PAUL, YOU RAISED YOUR HAND?

>> BECAUSE PERIODICALLY THEDRIVEWAY OF LIBERTY MUST BE

WATERED WITH THE BLOOD OF THENEIGHBOR'S CAT.

>> VERY HISTORICAL.

POINTS FOR THAT PAUL TOMPKINS.

>> YES, MIKE LAWRENCE?

>> I RAN OVER THE NEIGHBOR'S CATNINE TIMES JUST TO MAKE SURE.

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