When my son was born, Iremember... you know,
I was in there in the deliveryroom and it's amazing.
I cut the umbilical cord withmy teeth.
It was like this great primalthing and I'll never forget
this moment I had with myson...
about four monthsafter he was born.
This incredible moment.
We're up... it's the middle ofthe night, you know, and,
and I'm up with him.
You know, he's cryingand I'm holding him and
we're the only ones up,you know, in the world.
Haven't slept in, you know,since he's been born,
in four months.
And I remember looking at himand he's looking at me and,
you know, his face is allscrunched up and purple and
muling and going...[MIMICS CRYING]
And I remember, I looked athim and I had this thought.
I, I was thinking, you knowwhat?
I'd really like to shake thisbaby.
And I had been to lamazeclass and at lamaze class,
they're very specificallytelling you, "don't shake thebaby."
They say it repeatedlythroughout
the ten-week course,"don't shake your baby."
You have to watcha movie about it.
The movie is called"Don't Shake Your Baby."
And there's a ladyin the movie who's,
like... "I shook my baby...
"and... it was really bad.
"Its head fell off." So...
don't shake your baby.
So, you know, after tenweeks of this, you're like,
"I get it, I'm notgonna shake my baby!"
"I think I'm gonnashake this baby."
I know what they said inclass but I really feel like
the baby needs a goodshaking, you know?
Not enough to, like,permanently hurt it,
you know what I mean?
Just like a quick...[makes sound effect] oh!
Just to kind of startle himinto silence, you know?
Just to... [babbles] andhe would go "oh, [bleep]
"I guess I was acting like areal [bleep] just then."
And I would say,"I forgive you."