Greg Fitzsimmons - Morning Sex

  • Season 10 , Ep 8
  • 03/16/2006
  • Views: 3,835

Greg knocks on the back door. (2:05)

'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ENERGY AT NIGHT.

YOU'RE EXHAUSTED.YOU'RE COVERED IN VOMITAND YOU HATE EACH OTHER.

BY THE MORNING YOU'RE HORNY AGAIN,

SO WHAT I DO IS I SLEEP WITH MY WIFE IN THE SPOON POSITION.

AND THEN I'LL START TO APPLY A LITTLE PRESSURE DOWN THERE.

AND THEN IF I GETA LITTLE PRESSURE BACKTHAT'S THE GREEN LIGHT.

I'M KNOCKING ON THE BACK DOOR

AND THE DOOR'S BEING OPEN FOR ME.

THAT'S THE ONLY POSITION YOU'REGONNA HAVE MORNING SEX IN.

YOU GOT THAT NASTY MORNING BREATH.

YOU DON'T WANNA BE FACING EACH OTHER ANYWAY.

IF YOU CAN GO ASS-TO-ASS AND HAVE SEX IN THE MORNING

- THAT'S HOW YOU WOULD DO IT. - [LAUGHTER]

SO THE OTHER MORNING I THROW A MOVE ON THE OLD LADY,

SHE GREEN LIGHTS IT, AND NOW WE'RE HAVING SEX.

BUT IT'S THIS KIND OF SEX. FROM BEHIND, SIDEWAYS,

UP ON MY ARM, FEELING GOOD,

START CRAMPING UP--SHOULDER'S CRAMPING UP.

CAN'T DO THIS ANY LONGER.

SO I MOVE IT TO THAT ONE. THERE WE GO.

NOW ALL I NEED IS SUNGLASSES AND A MIXED DRINK.

- HEY, HOW YOU DOING? - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I DON'T KNOW WHOSE BEEN SENDING 1,500 EMAILS EVERY DAY

ABOUT THE SIZE OF MY PENIS, BUT I'M GOOD. THANKS.

AT SOME POINT THE COMPUTER INDUSTRY DECIDED

IF YOU HAVE AN EMAIL ADDRESS

YOU MUST HAVE SOME KIND OF PENIS PROBLEM.

IF YOU WANNA FIND GUYS WITH SMALL PENIS'

GO TO THE HUMMER DEALERSHIP. LEAVE ME OUT OF IT.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

AND NOW WHAT THEY DO IS,THEY KNOW THAT WE'RE ONTO THEM,

SO NOW THEY'LL PRETEND THAT THEEMAIL IS ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

YOU GET THAT EMAIL, THEY BACK DOOR IT,

THE SUBJECT LINE-- THE ONE I GOT THE OTHER DAY:

FAMILY REUNION. AND I'M GOING TO ONE SO I OPENED IT UP.

AND IT SAYS, "GET HUGE[BLEEP] AND BALLS NOW!"

WHAT KIND OFFAMILY REUNION IS THIS?

HEY, GRANDPA,CHECK THIS OUT.

"I REMEMBERWHEN YOU WERE THAT BIG."

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