Reverend Fred Phelps, Taylor Swift & Jehovah's Witness Video

  • Season 1 , Ep 6
  • 09/18/2012
  • Views: 17,854

Jeff Ross burns the d**khead of the Westboro Baptist Church, Taylor Swift's latest song and a Jehovah's witness anti-masturbation video for the deaf. (2:22)

(LAUGHTER)

ANYWAY, I'M A GREAT BELIEVER

IN FREE SPEECH BUT I WOULD PAY

ANYTHING TO SHUT THIS GUY UP.

PHELPS IS FAMOUS FOR SAYING

GOD HATES (BLEEP) WHICH

QUALIFIES HIM TO BE A RAPPER,

MEL GIBSON OR MY UNCLE.

I CAN'T TAKE A GUY SERIOUSLY

WHO LOOKS LIKE A COWBOY

SUPERMAN!

(LAUGHTER)

HEY, FRED, HERE IS A FUN FACT.

ONE OUT OF EVERY FIVE PEOPLE

IN THE WORLD IS GAY.

AND YOU HAVE 13 KIDS.

THAT MEANS AT LEAST TWO OF

THEM ENJOY SUCKING YOUR GAY

BABY-MAKING (BLEEP).

TAYLOR SWIFT'S NEW SONG IS

CALLED "WE ARE NEVER GETTING

BACK TOGETHER."

IT IS ABOUT HER FLING WITH

JAKE GYLLENHAAL.

HAVE YOU HEARD IT?

♪ I REMEMBER WHEN WE BROKE UP,

I'VE HAD ENOUGH ♪

♪ WE HADN'T SEEN EACH OTHER IN

A MONTH WHEN YOU SAID YOU

NEEDED SPACE ♪

>> SHE SHOULD BREAK UP WITH

HER GUITAR ALREADY.

THAT SONG.

STOP THE WHINING ALREADY.

HEY, TAYLOR, IF A GUY EVER

TREATED YOU RIGHT, YOU

WOULDN'T HAVE A CAREER.

SHE IS DATING ONE OF THE

KENNEDYS NOW.

THE KENNEDY CURSE CAN'T COME

SOON ENOUGH.

(APPLAUSE)

I'M ASSUMING THAT MOST OF YOU

DON'T UNDERSTAND SIGN

LANGUAGE.

BUT CHECK THIS OUT.

THE JEHOVAH WITNESSES PUT THIS

VIDEO OUT TO TELL DEAF PEOPLE

NOT TO MASTURBATE.

(LAUGHTER)

YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE IS

SAYING.

BUT...

I GET THE JIZ OF IT.

IS THERE ANY WAY I CAN

JEHOVAH'S UNWITNESS THAT?

DO THEY NEED TO MAKE THIS

VIDEO?

EVEN JEHOVAH KNOWS NO ONE

WANTS TO JERK OFF WHEN THERE

IS A BUNCH OF WITNESSES.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT IS MY FAVORITE JOKE OF

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