Whitney Cummings - Women Don't Dress for Other Women

Whitney Cummings: I Love You Season 1, Ep 1 06/28/2014 Views: 26,123

Whitney Cummings isn't proud of some of the fashion choices she makes. (2:05)

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I feel like I was explainingthis to a guy friend of mine.

I was explaining thisto a guy friend of mine

and I was just telling himI think that being a girl

is just more of a challengesometimes

because we have moreto think about, you know?

We have to worry aboutall this superficial stuff,

our, you know,nails getting done, our hair,

our clothes and matchingand purses and stuff.

He's like "Yeah, yeah,but that's not our fault.

"That's not our fault becausewomen don't dress for men.

Women dress for other women."

Does anyone ( bleep )--I will fight you right now...

All of you.

Women do not dressfor other women.

That's such a ridiculousphilosophy.

Look, I've never been gettingready putting on a miniskirt

like yeah, my waitress tonightis going to love this.

Like, no, women do not dressfor other women

and I know this because I havegirls' nights in my house.

And when girls are aloneand no guys are around,

we look like sea creatures.

Okay? It looks like a pirateship crashed into my house.

Okay? We all got dreadlocks,we're wearing slankets around,

pajama jeans, all our leg hairsjust in corn rows.

We have our ( bleep )hanging out.

If a girl comes overwith makeup on,

I'm like, "Bitch,go wash your face.

Whose team are you on?"

I do think this idea, though,

is kind of at the rootof the philosophy

that people think thatwomen don't like other women.

I think that happens because

when we're super dressed upto impress a guy

and we see each other,we avoid each other

because we're so embarrassedof all the pathetic,

desperate shit we're doingto impress a dude.

You know, like when I'm superdressed up in a push-up bra

and a mini dress and heelsand I see a group of girls,

I'm not like,"What's up, bitches?

I don't think you're readyfor this jelly."

No! When I seea group of girls,

I'm so humiliatedat all the dumb,

slutty shit I'm doing,I'm like, "Oh, God, hi.


"I know this is bad.

"It's just that he'sreally shallow and um,

"I'm in my 30's now,so I've got to make a move,

"you know what I mean...

and he's got a 401k--you get it."