John Mulaney - Get the Paddy Wagon

01/28/12 Views: 61,476

After the police show up at a wild get-together, John Mulaney and his fellow partiers must scatter. (1:03)

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WAS BECAUSE THE POLICEWERE THERE.

SO A CHICAGO POLICE OFFICERWALKED DOWN THE STAIRS

AND GOT TO THE BOTTOMIN THE BASEMENT

AND LOOKED OUT OVER A SEAOF DRUNK TODDLERS

YELLING "[bleep] THE POLICE"IN HIS FACE.

AND HE WAS ALMOST IMPRESSED.

HE WAS LIKE[whispering] "WOW."

AND THEN HE LEANEDINTO HIS WALKIE-TALKIE

AND WENT "GET THE PADDY WAGON."

AND MY FRIEND JOHN,WHO IS NOW A FATHER--

THIS MAN NOW HAS A BABY--

HE GRABBED A 40,SMASHED IT ON THE GROUND,

AND YELLED "SCATTER!"

AND EVERYONE RANIN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION.

WE ALL RAN IN DIFFERENTDIRECTIONS.

IT WAS LIKE THAT SCENEIN RATATOUILLE

WHEN THE HUMANS COMEIN THE KITCHEN

AND ALL THE RATSGO IN DIFFERENT WAYS.

WE ALL RAN IN DIFFERENTDIRECTIONS.

I RAN INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM

AND I JUMPED UPON THE WASHING MACHINE

AND I CRAWLED OUT THROUGHA WINDOW INTO THE BACKYARD

AND NOW I'M RUNNINGTHROUGH THE BACKYARD

AND THERE WAS THISBIG CHAIN LINK FENCE

AND I THOUGHT I'VE NEVER CLIMBEDA FENCE THAT HIGH BEFORE.

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