I got a massage today,
which was pretty cool,you know?
Except they gave me a man,which was a little weird.
You know what I mean?
At one point, I was like,
"Uh, is it normalto get an erection?"
He goes, "Sure."
I said, "Well,can you get it out of my face?"
I'm going to have some funtonight, though, man.
I've been fightingwith the girlfriend all week,
so it's good to be here,you know what I'm saying?
Man, no one can piss you offlike the one you love.
You ever notice that? Oh...
I love my girlfriend,
but sometimes I wantto grow old with her
just to watch her die.
Anyway... But it's all good.
We've been togetheralmost five years now.
Just found out she's pregnant,which is a pretty big deal.
How 'bout that, you guys?
I'm going to miss her.
I'll tell you that.
No. The message is this.
You got to be careful, you know?
My brother, uh...My brother had a vasectomy
a few years ago.
Yeah. He found out the hard wayit doesn't always work.
And can make your baby black.
Anyway,you're a good crowd, man.
Well, I can never be singleagain. I'll tell you that.
Any single people here?Can I have a round of applause?
(cheers and applause)
Good for you.
I didn't like being single, man.
'Cause I didn't get laidthat much, you know?
I remember one time I gotthis gal back to my place
and I was like, "So, you wantto have some sex?"
She was like, "Well,I don't normally do this...
but I'm going to pass."
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