Jamie Kennedy - Sleeping on an Airplane

Cole, Kennedy, Beckwith, Wells Season 4, Ep 0405 01/08/2001 Views: 2,258

Maybe if the pilot stopped talking, you could get some rest. (1:56)

YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE I ALWAYS TRY TO SLEEP ON

THE AIRPLANES, BUT I CAN NEVER

GET ANY SLEEP 'CAUSE THE CAPTAIN

IS ALWAYS INTERRUPTING MY SLEEP

WITH THOSE STUPID FACTS.

IT'S ALWAYS LIKE, "UH, HEY,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THIS IS YOUR, UH, CAPTAIN

SPEAKING.

WE'RE ABOUT...

(LAUGHTER)

9,000 MILES FROM OUR

DESTINATION."

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.

TODAY I'M USING A NONDAIRY

CREAMER."

(LAUGHTER)

"HI, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THIS IS YOUR, UH, CAPTAIN

SPEAKING.

I FORGOT."

(APPLAUSE)

SO I WAS RAISED STRICT CATHOLIC.

ANYBODY HERE CATHOLIC?

(CHEERING)

MY MOTHER MADE ME BE AN ALTAR

BOY WHEN I WAS 10 YEARS OLD.

SO MY JOB WAS TO HOLD THE TRAY

UNDERNEATH PEOPLE'S CHINS IN

CHURCH SO THE BODY OF CHRIST

WOULDN'T HIT THE FLOOR.

NOW, THAT IS AN INTENSE JOB

FOR A 10-YEAR-OLD.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT HERE'S WHAT I WAS THINKING

ABOUT, PEOPLE.

THINK ABOUT THIS.

THAT EUCHARIST IS THE BODY OF

CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD,

THE CREATOR OF THE WHOLE

UNIVERSE.

DON'T YOU THINK HE COULD HAVE

JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE FLAVOR?

(LAUGHTER)

SOMETIMES I GO TO CHURCH WISHING

FOR, LIKE, A SOUR CREAM AND

ONION GOD.

MESQUITE BARBECUE GOD.

A LITTLE SALSA TO DIP GOD INTO.

SO I USED TO LISTEN TO THAT SHOW