You're laughing already.I haven't even told a joke yet.
I'm like one for oh.
How much time do I have left?
I'm just kidding.
I'm the comedianwho tells a joke
and says "I'm just kidding."
We're havingso much fun, you guys.
Uh, it's greatto be here in New York.
What a beautiful place.
Here are a few thingsI've learned
through my experiencesin New York City.
First, I learned that prettygirls on subways don't enjoy
talking to really talentedup and coming comedians.
I learned that.
I learned that whenyou're done using a condom,
you're supposed to tie itin a knot
and throw it on the sidewalk.
And my favorite thing I learnedin New York City...
just because you're homeless
doesn't meanyou can't have cats.