T.J. Miller - Acid Job Interview & Bad Yoga Class

  • Season 1 , Ep 7
  • 11/27/2012
  • Views: 8,056

T.J. Miller portrays a guy on an acid trip at a job interview and recounts a bad yoga class experience. (1:57)

- THIS IS A GUY WHO'S NERVOUSABOUT A JOB INTERVIEW,

SO HE TOOK ACIDRIGHT BEFOREHAND.

THAT WAS A REALLY BAD IDEA,BECAUSE NOW HE FEELS

LIKE HIS FACE IS MELTING.

WHAT WOULD BEMY GREATEST WEAKNESS?

UM...

WHAT WOULD BEMY GREATEST WEAKNESS?

MY GREATEST WEAKNESS?

WHERE DID YOU GO?

WHERE DID YOU GO?OH, THERE YOU ARE.

I GUESS I HAVENO WEAKNESSES.

[applause]

I DON'T LIKE DOING YOGA.

DO YOU GUYS DO YOGA?I HATE IT.

THERE'S TOO MUCH STRETCHING,YOU KNOW?

I JUST DON'T LIKE IT.

I HAD A BAD EXPERIENCEAT A YOGA CLASS.

I WENT IN, AND THIS WOMANWAS STRETCHING

IN SPANDEX SHORTSBEHIND ME,

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN--WELL, WE'RE ALL ADULTS HERE--

HER VAGINA POPPED OUT.

AND NOT JUST A SLIVER.I MEAN, THE WHOLE THING.

IT'S LIKE, HOW DO YOU GETSOMEONE'S ATTENTION

TO TELL THEM THAT?

YOU KNOW,I WAS LIKE, "HEY, HEY."

[makes popping sounds]

BUT SHE DIDN'T NOTICE,

SO I PICKED IT UPTO HAND IT BACK TO HER,

BUT THEN THE CLASSWAS OVER,

SO EVERYBODY GOT UPTO LEAVE.

SO I GO TO TURN IT INAT THE LOST AND FOUND,

THEN SHE CAME OVER,KIND OF ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY,

AND SAW THAT I HAD ITIN MY HAND.

SHE GOES,"EXCUSE ME!

IS THAT MY VAGINAIN YOUR HAND?"

THEN I JUST SAID,"I DON'T KNOW.

"LET ME SEEIF IT HAS A NAME ON IT.

"NOPE. I GUESSIT'S MY VAGINA IN MY HAND!

FINDERS KEEPERS,LOSERS QUEEFERS."

[cheers and applause]

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