Arj Barker - Shoe Museum

  • Season 3 , Ep 16
  • 09/21/2000
  • Views: 10,102

Arj Barker recalls his history with marijuana. (3:14)

I WENT TO TORONTO RECENTLY,WHICH IS VERY NICE,

A VERY CLEAN CITY.

BUT THERE'S SOMETHINGMAYBE A LITTLE WRONG.

THERE MAY BE SOMETHINGSLIGHTLY WRONG UP THERE.

THEY HAVE A SHOE MUSEUM,OKAY?

I WAS IN THE HOTEL,AND I SAW IT IN THE PAMPHLETS--

IN THE HOTEL--

TORONTO SHOE MUSEUM,AND I JUST TOOK IT.

I JUST WENT, "OH-OH."AND I TOOK IT.

AND I WENT UP TO MY ROOMAND PUT IT ON THE BED,

AND THEN I JUST PACED.

FOR I WAS TROUBLED BYTHE PRESENCE OF A SHOE MUSEUM,

BECAUSE IT FORCED METO ASK A VERY BURNING QUESTION:

"WOULD MY BODY BE ABLE

"TO PHYSICALLY SURVIVETHE AMOUNT OF DOPE

I WOULD NEED TO SMOKEIN ORDER TO VISIT..."

[applause]

"A SHOESEUM"?

[laughter]

ACTUALLY, OKAY,NOW HERE'S THE THING,

I SAID EARLIER--

I MADE A LITTLE REFERENCETHAT I SMOKED--I SMOKED WEED.

AND I SMOKE A LITTLE BITONCE IN A WHILE

WHEN IT'S APPROPRIATE.

[applause]

NO. NO. NO. NO.NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

NO. NO. NO. NO.THAT'S NOT--

I'M NOT TRYINGTO START A RALLY HERE.

MY POINT IS THATI DIDN'T ALWAYS SMOKE.

I DIDN'T ALWAYS SMOKE POT.

IN FACT, FOR YEARS AND YEARS,ARJ BARKER WAS HIGH ON LIFE.

[applause]

BUT EVENTUALLY,I BUILT UP A TOLERANCE.

OKAY?

IT JUST WASN'T CUTTINGTHE MUSTARD ANYMORE, YOU KNOW?

I USED TO SEIZE THE DAY,

BUT PRETTY SOON, I WAS SEIZINGTWO DAYS, THREE DAYS, FOUR DAYS,

UP TO A WEEKJUST TO COP THE SAME BUZZ.

SO I SMOKE A LITTLE,BUT I'M VERY CAREFUL.

I'M VERY CAUTIOUS.

I NEVER SMOKE GRASSAND DRIVE MY CAR.

BECAUSE--BECAUSE FOR ONE THING,

NO MATTER HOW MANY LETTERSI WRITE TO THE ROAD COMMISSIONS,

THEY STILL REFUSETO START DESIGNING HIGHWAYS

WITH SECOND-CHANCE EXITS.

[applause]

WE'VE HAD A COUPLE LAUGHS.

WE'VE HAD A GOOD TIME, BUTNOW IT'S TIME TO GET SERIOUS.

MARIJUANAIS SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN

TO DISTORT ONE'S PERCEPTIONOF DEPTH AND DISTANCE,

SO DRIVING'S A HORRIBLE IDEA.

BECAUSE YOU'RE IN YOUR CAR--

"OH, MAN, I GOTA SMALL STEERING WHEEL.

"HMM. THAT'S BETTER.

"I THINK I'LL PULL OVERBY THAT PINE TREE

"AND GO FOR A NATURE HIKE.

"WAIT A SECOND.

OH. OH, MAN.OH, THAT'S THE DEODORIZER."

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