Harland Williams - Magical, Mystical Wizard

  • Season 9 , Ep 20
  • 06/23/2005
  • Views: 3,033

Some days, it feels like you have a Harry Potter penis. (1:33)

DON'T YOU?

HOW ARE YOU, MY DEAR?

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, LOVE?

>> RANDI.

Harland Williams: RANDI,

WHAT A TREAT.

AND WHAT DO YOU DO, MA'AM,

DO YOU WORK?

Randi: YES, I WORK.

Harland Williams: WHERE DO YOU

WORK?

Randi: I'M A GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.

Harland Williams: A GUIDANCE

COUNSELOR.

ISN'T THAT A TREAT?

AND WHO DID YOU HELP THIS WEEK?

Randi: NOBODY, IT'S--

Harland Williams: NOBODY.

WELL, AREN'T YOU OFF TO A

ROARING START?

[LAUGHTER]

"BILLY, WOULD YOU STEP INTO

MY OFFICE FOR A MINUTE,

I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

GOD, I'M FEELING GOOD.

YOU EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE DAYS

WHERE YOU WAKE UP AND YOU THINK

YOU'RE A MAGICAL, MYSTICAL

WIZARD?

YOU WAKE UP, YOU THINK YOU'RE

A MAGICAL, MYSTICAL WIZARD.

DIG THIS, ACTION JACKSON.

I'M OVER AT THE MALL...

I'M OVER AT THE MALL THE OTHER

DAY DOING A LITTLE SHOPPING.

I'M WANDERING AROUND.

SUDDENLY I GOT TO DO A LITTLE

TINKLE.

SO I GO INTO THE MEN'S ROOM.

I START TO DO A LITTLE TINKLE.

AND FELLAS, YOU EVER GET

ANY OF THAT WEIRD, MYSTERIOUS

UNDERWEAR LINT STUCK IN THE

EYE OF THE NEEDLE?

[LAUGHTER]

I STARTED TO DO A TINKLE.

TWO OF THEM COME OUT!

I'M LIKE A MAGICAL, MYSTICAL

WIZARD.

I GOT HARRY POTTER PENIS,

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

THAT EVER HAPPEN TO THE LADIES

AT ALL, HUH?

GUESS YOU'D HAVE TO BE MISSING

A GYM SOCK OR SOMETHING,

AT THAT POINT.

[LAUGHTER]

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