"Frontline" - In a Gay World

Mandela Boot Camp & The Time Haters Season 2, Ep 11 03/31/2004 Views: 192,178

Dave shows footage from a sketch about the differences of a gay-run America. (3:46)

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FOR ALL-GAY STUDENTS,

AND WE WERE LIKE, OKAY,AMERICA'S FREAKING OUT NOW,

LIKE, ABOUT THE GAY THING, LIKE,

SO WE THOUGHTWHAT IF IT WAS, LIKE,

SO SEGREGATED THAT THEREBECAME TWO AMERICAS:

IT WAS A GAY AMERICAAND A STRAIGHT AMERICA.

AND THAT WAS THE PREMISEOF THE SKETCH.

- CITIES LIKE SAN FRANCISCO

EVEN OFFER SPECIALMUNICIPAL SERVICES,

LIKE THIS GAY DEPARTMENTOF MOTOR VEHICLES.

- HONEY, WITH THOSE CHEEKBONES,YOU'RE A NATURAL!

NOW, JUST STAND THERE.THAT'S RIGHT.

PUT YOUR HEAD BACKA LITTLE BIT.

LET'S GET THATGREAT BIG SMILE.

LET'S SEE THOSEPEARLY WHITES.

HOLD IT, HOLD IT.

[camera shutter clicking]

- CONGRATULATIONS.YOUR LICENSE PLATE IS SO READY.

- [chuckles]

IT WAS FUNNY.

I MEAN, WE WERE JUSTMESSING AROUND.

YOU KNOW,JUST HAVING FUN.

RIGHT.

BUT IT GETS WORSE, LIKE,WE KEEP GOING ON LIKE THIS.

OKAY, SO THERE'S A GAY DMV,

WHAT ELSE CAN WE JUST MAKE,LIKE, A GAY VERSION OF?

AND THEN WE JUST WENT TO TOWN

WITH, LIKE,THE GAY VERSIONS OF THINGS.

FOR INSTANCE...

- EVERY ASPECTOF AMERICAN LIFE

IS BEING AFFECTEDBY THE CULTURE.

THERE ARE GAY BUTCHERS.

GAY LANDSCAPERS.

- ♪ ASS, TITTIES,ASS AND TITTIES ♪

♪ ASS, ASS,TITTIES, TITTIES ♪

- [chuckles]

JUST FOR FUN,CAN WE SEE THAT GUY AGAIN?

THAT SHIT WAS VERY FUNNY TO ME.

- ♪ ASS, TITTIES,ASS AND TITTIES ♪

♪ ASS ASS,TITTIES, TITTIES-- ♪

- HERE'S WHERE WE STARTSPINNING OUT OF CONTROL.

ALL RIGHT, THIS NEXT ONEWAS OFFENSIVE,

NOT ONLY TO GAY PEOPLEBUT BLACK PEOPLE.

AND IF YOU'REA GAY BLACK PERSON

THEN YOU'LL GET DOUBLY MAD,

BUT IT WAS ALLIN THE SPIRIT OF FUN.

I THOUGHT--I STILL THINK IT'S FUNNY.

ALL RIGHT,GO AHEAD AND SHOW THE CLIP.

- HERE IN HUNTSFIELD, ALABAMA,AMAZINGLY,

THEY HAVE STARTED A GAY CHAPTEROF THE KLU KLUX KLAN.

- OH, IT'S HOTLIKE THE DICKENS.

AS I WAS SAYING AT BRUNCH,

AND WE HATE, TOO, OKAY?

BUT WE DO IT A SPECIAL WAY.WE DO IT WITH COMPASSION.

GOOD MORNING,I'M WITH THE K.K.K.

WE HAD A MEETINGAND WE WERE TALKING

AND WE'D BE MORE COMFORTABLE

IF YOU GUYSLEFT THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

HAVE YOU CONSIDEREDGOING BACK TO AFRICA?

- ALL RIGHT.

NOW, THIS NEXT PIECEWAS THE PIECE THAT STARTED

THE WHOLE SHE-BANG-A-BANG.

THIS WAS THE FIRSTPREMISE THAT LED

TO THIS GAY AMERICA SKETCH.

THIS ACTUALLYWAS CHARLIE MURPHY'S IDEA.

HE CALLED AND WAS LIKE"I GOT THIS FUNNY IDEA

FOR A SKETCH, MAN."

AND HE TOLD ME, HE TOLD NEAL,AND WE JUST RAN WITH IT.

- THIS IS THE MOSTSPLENDIFEROUS,

SPECUTACIOUS MONUMENTAL EVENTIN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

PROFESSIONAL BOXINGWITH ALL-GAY FIGHTERS.

I CALL IT"FRIDAY NIGHT SISSY FIGHTS"

AND IT'S ONNONE OTHER THAN HBO.

ON MY RIGHT,"THE BATHHOUSE BRAWLER",

NONE OTHER THANSWEET PUSS ROGERS.

LOOK AT THAT FOOTWORK.

HIS DAD WAS A SCHOOLGIRL.

MAN, HE'S GAY.

AND TO MY LEFT,"THE TYRANNICAL TEA-BAGGER"

NONE OTHER THAN REGGIE BLAZER.

HE'S WEIGHING HIMSELF INAS WE SPEAK.

- UH-UH, UH-UH,THIS SCALE IS BROKE.

CHEETAH, DIDN'T I TELL YOUTO FIX THIS SCALE.

AND WHAT YOU LOOKING ATWITH YOUR ASHY-ASS LIPS?

- WHATEVER, FAT-ASS.

- I LOVE IT!

- [squeals]

- ON THAT NOTE, WE'RE ACTUALLYGONNA TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK,