(inspirational string music)
- [Voiceover] Every now and then,
someone comes along whosees things differently.
This is the story of one man who decided to change
the way the game is played.
- You guys were forces of nature out there today.
I could not be more proud of all of you, great job!
- Uhm, coach?
- Jasmine, what?
- If you're so proud ofus, why can you never
look us in the eyes when you speak to us.
- God dammit Jasmine, you know why.
Because you're in your underwearand you don't have to be.
Look at you, you are more than perfect tits
and rock hard luscious asses.
You're god damn semi-professional fucking athletes.
- But coach, it's the league rules.
There's nothing you can do about it.
- Zip it Yang.
There is something I can do about it.
Anyone, and I do mean anyone that plays football for me,
they wear clothes from now on.
And if you have a problem with that, you can leave.
Rodriguez, where are you going?
God dammit Ebony, get back here!
(audience chatter erupts)
Sweaty mess, go ahead.
- [Black Shirt Man] No lingerie?
What is this, some kinda joke?
- The only joke around here is that my six year old daughter
asked for a pair of booty shorts so that she could be
a lingerie football player for Halloween.
It's a bunch of jokes out there!
Just look at this, take a good look.
Because you're not gonnasee this anymore, ok?
You're a bunch of sick, demented freaks.
- [Voiceover] Sometimes, when you buck the system,
the system bucks back.
- [Tan Pants] Wake up!
Those girls better be back in that lingerie next game,
(groans in pain)
- [Black Pants] If God didn't want
those bitches toplay half naked,
then why the fuck did he create lingerie football?
- You pussies thinkI'm scared of you, huh?
- You let go of my fucking gun.
That's fucking crazy man.
- You're ruining the game.
Women have nipples and butts too.
Deal with it fuck-face.
(yells with emphasis)
- Oww, God.
- You better put the T and A back in team buddy.
- I want not--
I'm just trying to do the right God damn thing.
They wanna fuck with me?
Tonight we're gonna playin burqas, full burqas.
- Excuse me coach?
We signed up for lingerie football, you know that right?
Maybe it's about time you let this go.
- Oh, ok Jasmine, I'll just let it go.
Or maybe, should I teach one of these
freaky fuck fiends that you guys are not just T and A,
you're semi-professionalfootball players.
Now let's go out there and show 'em what we're made of.
- [Voiceover] Sometimes,you're convictions
can cost you everything.
- God dammit.
- John Buckner's crossed the line.
You're the commissioner,do something about it.
- Look, I've had guysthreaten him with guns.
I've had his teeth knocked out with a baseball bat.
The guy doesn't quit, I think he's on PCP.
- Figure it out, or me and the other team owners
are out of the league.
- Hey Buckner, the commissioner called,
he wanted me to tell ya that you're fired.
(gun shots)(gurgling moans)
- Bang, bang motha fucka.
The bitches wear clothes!
Bang, bang, bang!
- [Voiceover] This Sunday, Comedy Central presents
Coach John Buckner in The Coach Who Clothed Them.
(inspirational trumpet music)