Greg Giraldo - Cleavage

Season 1 , Ep 0101 12/08/02 Views: 17,858

Cleavage isn't a smart bomb. (1:20)

WELL IT'S GREAT TO BE HEREIN NEW YORK CITY, HUH?

CAN IT BE ANY HOTTERAND MUGGIER?

EVERYBODY IS WALKING AROUNDHALF-NAKED.

YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO STARE.

THAT CLEAVAGE IS, YOU KNOW WHAT,I'M SORRY, I AM GETTING TOO OLD

TO WALK AROUND THE STREETS AND--I MEAN, YOU JUST--

YOU CANNOT STARE AT THECLEAVAGE.

AND TODAY IT WAS RAINING WHICH,YOU KNOW, EVEN WORSE.

THERE'S JUST CLEAVAGEEVERYWHERE.

YOU CANNOT LOOK AT IT.

AND I LOVE HOW THE WOMEN ARESHOCKED WHEN THE GUYS ARE

STARING.

LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT,WHAT IS EVERYONE LOOKING AT?

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]THIS FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME

"YEAH, I DRESS THIS WAY TOATTRACT THE GUYS, BUT I WANT TO

ATTRACT THE RIGHT GUY, I DON'TWANT TO ATTRACT EVERY SLOB

ON THE STREET.

[LAUGHTER]THAT'S HOW CLEAVAGE WORKS.

IT'S NOT A SMART BOMB; IT'S NOTA LASER-GUIDED WEAPON.

HELL, YOU MIGHT HIT YOUR TARGETBUT THERE'S ALSO GONNA BE A LOT

OF COLLATERAL DAMAGE,THAT'S JUST THEY WAY IT GOES.

YOU MIGHT HIT THE GUY IN THEPORSCHE, YOUR ALSO GONNA HIT

THE GUY WITH ONE TOOTH DRIVINGBY IN THE BUS AND YOU GOT TO

ACCEPT IT.

YOU SHOULD JUST BE HAPPY YOUHAVE THAT KIND OF POWER OVER MEN

THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO TO HAVETHAT OF POWER OVER WOMEN.

I CAN'T WALK AROUND WITHMY BALLS PRESSED TOGETHER,

YOU KNOW, WHAT'S UP GIRL?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]WAS I SPEEDING OFFICER?

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]AH, WELL.

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