But let's focuson the man of the moment,
-president-elect Donald Trump.-(booing and groaning)
Oh, did I remind you?I'm sorry.
-(laughter and groaning)-I'm sorry. Did you forget?
Say what you will about him,but you cannot deny
the man knowshow to throw a punch.
Which shouldn't be a surprise,because with his fists,
there's very littlewind resistance.
-They just, um... you know?-(laughter)
He's basically bulliedall of his critics,
he forcibly renamedhis political rivals,
and he even calledthe New York Times
"the failing New York Times" so much
that they finallyjust went with it.
-(laughter and groaning)-But for Trump,
those were just small fry.
You see, he's alwayshad his sights set
on a much larger enemy.
I always hate that I haveto have my ties made in China.
We can't continue to allow Chinato rape our country.
China is ripping us off.
They're taking our jobs.
We want deal!
China! China. China. China.
-(laughter)-(imitating Trump): "China!"
Quick question-- how are yougonna fight a country
when you can't even pronouncetheir name?
I doesn't sound like a country.It sounds like a toddler
who just learned the nameof her private parts.
-That's what it sounds like.-(laughter)
-"Jyna, Jyna, Jyna! Jyna!"-(laughter)
"That's where my tiescome from!"
And, by the way, by the way,
why do Donald Trump's suitsfit so poorly?
Like, he's talking aboutall his clothes made in China.
I don't understandwhy they fit like this.
They're made for you and by you.
Why would they fit so badly?
Like, I wouldn't be shockedif his suits fit like that
because he exaggerateshis measurements to his tailors.
"No, my arm is this long.It's this long!"
-(laughter)-It doesn't make sense.
Now, since the '80s,
Trump has been itchingto pick a fight with Jyna.
And even thoughit's still 44 days
before he officiallytakes office,
he's already starting (bleep).
In an unprecedented move,
Trump took a callfrom Taiwan's president,
which broke more than threedecades of diplomatic tradition.
WOMAN: Some foreign policy experts
calling it a foreign policy blunder.
MAN: His phone callwith Taiwan's president
touched off something ofa weekend diplomatic firestorm
with China, and broke decadesof presidential protocol.
Yup, once again,Donald Trump breaks protocol,
which is basically hisspecialty, because since Nixon,
all American presidentshave publicly regarded Taiwan
as being a part of China,but not Trump. Yeah.
Donald Trump--he treats protocol
I think there are a lotof questions going forward about
what Donald Trump's policytowards China will be.
It took decadesto develop the ground
on which we talk to China,
and Donald Trumptore it up today.
If I were China right now,I would have no idea
what's going on-- and I'mnot a hundred percent sure
Trump does, either.
Nobody knowswhat Trump's plan is.
He's just that kind of guy.He wakes up and he's like,
"Who said that? Me?Oh, okay, okay. Okay."
Because nobody knowsif he has a plan.
This could be blunder, or itcould be his opening chess move.
You know? Or actually,it's too complicated.
Maybe his opening checkers move.
Uh... no, no,I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
his openingHungry Hungry Hippos move.
That looks right, thatlooks right, that looks right.
Now, look, now, look,the president of the--
there's a lot more skillin that game than you think--
now, nook, the president ofthe United States has the right
to determine America's policytoward China, I don't deny that.
What's worrying is that DonaldTrump doesn't seem to know
which direction he's shifting it,
or even how he's shifting it.
Because now Trump is positioninghis Taiwan call
as taking an aggressive stanceagainst China.
But when the story first broke,Trump implied in a tweet
that he didn't plan it.
Said he spoketo the president of Taiwan
because she called himout of the blue.
Which is even more frightening.
How are people able to call
the president ofthe United States... randomly?
And also, if that's the case,
why is he answeringrandom calls?
This is president-electof the United States!
It's just like, ring-ring,and he's like,
"Oh, that could bea world leader,
"or my Uber calling. Hold on.
Yes, this is Donald."
"Hello, Donald. This isTsai Ing-wen from Taiwan."
"Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm waving.Is that you in the Camry?
Is that you?"
Who is this man?!
And this is why everybody'sfreaking out.
Because it doesn't look likeTrump knows what he's doing.
And China's relationshipwith Taiwan is too tricky
to not know what you're doing.
You see,just like Dwayne Johnson,
uh, wasn't always The Rock,
-(laughter) -China...wasn't always communist.
And after itscommunist revolution in 1949,
all anti-communists fledto Taiwan
and declared themselvesindependent from China.
That's how it all started.Which China vehemently rejects.
In fact, in Shanghai'sEnglish-language bookstores,
they actually unwrapnew English dictionaries
and they rip out the pagethat has the entry for Taiwan.
That's how seriouslythey take it in China.
Which is not just censorship,I mean, that's some crazy
ex-lover behavior, that's...I mean, because you realize,
when you rip out a pageof a dictionary,
you're not just losing Taiwan,you're losing
all the other wordsthat have "T" around it.
Like the word "taken" ison the same page as Taiwan.
"Taken" is gone.That would explain
why Liam Neeson's moviesflopped in China.
They probably had no meaning.
They probably had to reduball of his lines.
He was like, "What?My daughter's been gotten?"
But that's...that's how China rolls.
And because America tries torespect both China and Taiwan,
their relationship ends upbeing, uh, complicated.
NEWSMAN: Ever since Nixon's visit to China in 1972,
the U.S. has had a One-China policy,
recognizing only one of the two countries
that call themselves China.
...recognizing Taiwanthrough defense contracts
and informal contacts,but not as a separate government
with its owndiplomatic standing.
NEWSMAN: Trump tweeted...
It is weird that China acceptsAmerica selling weapons
to Taiwan, but will not standfor a phone call.
That is weird.But it's a weird thing
that you have to respect.
Because it's a matterof respect.
It's sort of like when you goto visit your grandma.
Out of respect,you and your girlfriend
sleep in separate rooms.
Yeah. She knowsthat you're together,
but you just act likeit's not happening.
But Donald Trump,he doesn't do respect.
He doesn't play protocol.When he's at Grandma's,
he (bleep) bigly.
And the crazy thing iswe have to get involved.
Now we're reading up.
Do you understand how strangethat is, by the way?
We are reading up on China,because we're afraid
that the presidentof the United States
doesn't know what he's doing?We're like, "All right,
we're gonna read upjust in case, Donald."
Because, look,no one's ever messed with China
like this before.
No one really knows whatthe ramifications will be.
It may be nothing.
Or it could lead to a war.
Or maybe, maybe China triesto hurt America's economy
by stopping all trade.
These are allreally bad outcomes.
I will say this, though,if a trade war means
we don't have to see himin one of those suits anymore,
then maybe it was all worth it.