(presidential music)

- Good evening my fellow Americans.

With me as always is my anger translator, Luther.

- Hi.

- Now like many of you,I recently saw the video

of my opponent addressing his donors.

- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Woo, oh no Mitt!

You know what, you probably wouldn't have

liked the White House anyway.

There's no elevator for your cars, man.

They gonna have to takethe stairs or whatever.

- Let me make this clear.

When you're President, you represent the entire country.

You can't be President of half the country.

- Hey Mitt, 47% of the country called,

and they said you get to be President, of jack shit.

- My opponent also madethe unusual comment

that his life would have been

better off were he born Latino.

- Oh God dammit, oh no why?

Why did you have to be born white?

Oh the suffering.

I mean how did you survive

as a rich white asshole in America?

I just don't know, it's sad.

- He went on to raise questions

about the fairness of our tax code.

- Nigga did you saythat half of the country

doesn't pay income taxes?

What about you, Mitt?

What about you?

Did you pay income taxes?

I mean I don't know because

ain't a brother ain't seen nothing yet.

You know what I'm saying?

Can you give us a little peek?

Why don't you give the nation just a little bit of a peek?

You can't, no, OK.

- As for me, my focus however, will continue to be

on monitoring the unrestof the Arab world.

- By the way, y'all can't riot over every shitty movie.

Cowboys and Aliens wasoffensive to everybody,

but you don't see us burning shit down over here.

- In these tumultuous times, clear communication

is our greatest ally.

- Yeah that and mother Jones releasing

videos of your dumb ass Mitt.

I ball so hard mother fuckers wanna find me.

- Thank you and goodnight.

- That shit cray.

- That shit is relatively cray.