Gabriel Iglesias - Indian People in the United States

Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy Season 1, Ep 101 04/07/2013 Views: 48,565

Gabriel Iglesias has never seen an Indian person commit a crazy crime. (2:13)

SOME OF THE PLACES WE'REPLANNING ON PERFORMING THIS

NEXT YEAR, WE'RE TALKING ABOUTGOING TO GERMANY.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT GOINGTO BULGARIA AND INDIA.

INDIA'S ON THE LIST OF NEWPLACES WE'RE GONNA VISIT,

AND I'M EXCITED ABOUT INDIA,YOU KNOW, AND I WAS TELLING

PEOPLE IN ENGLAND THAT WE'REGOING, YOU KNOW, TO INDIA.

I HAD INDIAN PEOPLE TELLING ME,"OH, IT'S GONNA AMAZING WHEN

YOU GO THERE.

YOU'RE GONNA ENJOY IT.

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.

IT'S AMAZING."

AND I'D JUST STARE, AND THE GUYGOES, "WHY ARE YOU STARING?"

I GO, "'CAUSE YOUR VOICEDOESN'T MATCH THE, YOU KNOW..."

"OH, YOU THINK WE ALLSOUND LIKE--"

"I'M SORRY, DUDE.

I LIVE IN AMERICA.

INDIANS OVER THERE KEEP IT REAL.

[laughs]YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY."

AND I HAVE NOTHING BUT LOVEAND RESPECT FOR INDIAN PEOPLE.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHINGRIGHT NOW.

INDIAN PEOPLE IN THE UNITEDSTATES ARE THE HARDEST WORKING

PEOPLE I HAVE EVER SEEN,AND THAT'S COMING FROM

A MEXICAN, OKAY?

AND I'LL TELL YOU WHYI SAY THIS.

YOU WILL NEVER SEE AN INDIANPERSON WITH A SIGN THAT SAYS,

"WILL WORK FOR FOOD" INTHE UNITED STATES.

AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE AN INDIANPERSON COMMITTING A CRAZY CRIME.

LIKE, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIMEYOU HEARD OF INDIANS ROBBING

A BANK?

LOOK AT EVERYBODY.

"OH, I CAN'T REMEMBER, BRO."

'CAUSE IT DOESN'T HAPPEN.

FIRST OF ALL, INDIAN PEOPLEARE SO NICE, AND THEY'RE SO

SWEET.

I CAN'T SEE IT.

YOU KNOW, YOU GONNA ROB A BANK,YOU NEED AUTHORITY.

YOU NEED TO COME IN THEREGUNS BLAZING.

"I SAID, GET YOUR ASSON THE GROUND NOW!"

I CAN'T IMAGINE...

[imitating Indian accent] "WOULDYOU PLEASE TAKE THE MONEY?

WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

I AM TALKING TO YOU!

FORGET THIS!

I'M OUT OF HERE!

I DON'T NEED THIS."

HE GETS IN THE CAR.

[imitates car door slamming]HIS PARTNER'S WAITING FOR HIM.

"DID YOU GET THE MONEY?""THEY WOULD NOT GIVE ME

THE MONEY."

"DID YOU SHOW THEM THE GUN?""I SHOWED THEM THE GUN!"

"WE'D BETTER LEAVE.

THEY'RE GOING TO CALLTHE POLICE."

"THEY'RE STILL LAUGHING."

"WHERE DID YOU GETTHE COMPUTER?"

"THEY THOUGHT I WASTECH SUPPORT."