Adam Lowitt - Cell Phone Robbery Pt. 1

  • Season 3 , Ep 6
  • 08/24/2012
  • Views: 9,514

Adam Lowitt loves living in New York City most of the time. (1:59)

I love New York.

I'm coming up on ten yearsof living in New York and

I love living here.

[AUDIENCE CHEERS]

Easy, easy, most of the time.

I got robbed the other night.

I was sitting outside... yes,thank you.

I was sitting outside at acoffee shop,

had my cell phone on thetable in front of me,

you know, just to give theillusion that people are

getting in touch with me.

And this kid walks by,grabs my phone and

just takes off and it took mybrain way too long to process,

"oh, that guy isnot coming back."

'Cause for a second, I thoughtit was a friend pulling

a prank on me, then Irealized I'm 31 years old.

My friends are around thesame age.

We don't really pull prankson each other that involve

running anymore.

It's really just couch-basedshenanigans from here on out.

And if you've neverbeen robbed, it sucks.

You feel like a chump becausesomeone has looked at you

from afar, judged yourcharacter and thought,

"this would be amissed opportunity."

And I know that I don't have themost intimidating demeanor.

I know what I look like uphere,

the sort of less muscular, Jew-yversion of Vin Diesel.

Like, I get it.

I look like Stanley Tucciafter one week on the

Appalachian Trail, you know?

I look like the guy whoruns the projector at

a White Power rally, you know?

[LAUGHTER]

I don't contribute to the hatebut I love the equipment.

This guy runs across thestreet with my phone into

a park and I wish I couldn'thave still seen him because

at that point my phone reallywasn't gone yet,

it was just over there.

Loading...