Greg Giraldo - Homeless Guy

  • Season 3 , Ep 10
  • 08/08/2000
  • Views: 19,433

What kind of work can a guy who lives in the garbage get? (1:18)

I WAS OUT THE OTHER NIGHT,YOU KNOW,

AND THIS HOMELESS GUYASKED ME FOR MONEY.

I WAS ABOUT TO GIVE IT TO HIM,AND THEN I THOUGHT,

"HE'S JUST GONNA USE ITON DRUGS OR ALCOHOL."

AND THEN I THOUGHT, "THAT'SWHAT I'M GONNA USE IT ON."

WHY THE HELL SHOULD I JUDGETHIS GUY, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

PEOPLE ALWAYS JUDGEHOMELESS GUYS, LIKE,

"IF YOU GIVE HIM MONEY,HE'S JUST GONNA WASTE IT.

HE'S GONNA WASTE THE MONEY."

WELL, HE LIVES IN A BOX.

WHAT DO YOU WANT HIMTO DO WITH IT?

SAVE IT UPAND BUY A WALL UNIT?

OR TAKE SOME KARATE CLASSES

OR PICK UP THAT HOT NEWRICKY MARTIN CD

HE'S HAD HIS EYES ON?

PEOPLE CAN BE SUCH BASTARDSTO HOMELESS GUYS.

I WALKED BEHIND THIS GUYTHE OTHER DAY.

A HOMELESS GUYASKED FOR MONEY.

HE LOOKS AT THE HOMELESS GUYAND GOES,

"GET A JOB, YOU BUM."

GET A JOB,LIKE IT'S ALWAYS THAT EASY.

THIS HOMELESS GUY WAS WEARINGHIS UNDERWEAR OUTSIDE HIS PANTS.

I'M GUESSING HIS RESUMEAIN'T ALL UP-TO-DATE.

I'M PREDICTING SOME PROBLEMSDURING THE INTERVIEW PROCESS.

I'M PRETTY SUREEVEN YOUR BASIC SWEAT SHOP

HAS AN UNDERWEAR-GO-INSIDE-THE-PANTS POLICY.

WHAT KIND OF WORKIS HE SUPPOSED TO GET?

HE LIVES IN THE GARBAGE.

"WELCOMETO SMITH BARNEY, SMELLY.

"COME ON IN.

"HERE'S YOUR DESKWITH THE AIR FRESHENERS ON IT.

"MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.

"NICE LOOK WITH THE UNDERWEAR;NICE TOUCH.

"IT'S CASUAL FRIDAY,SO THAT'S PERFECT, YOU KNOW.

MIGHT WANT TO GOWITH BOTH SHOES ON MONDAY."

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